asked in Love+Relationships by (19 points) 1 4
replied by ELITE (3,663 points) 7 14 56
It should be equal when you get married you shared not to received all the time.

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8 Answers

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answered by ELITE (3,094 points) 3 6 14
It is actually the only thing the world entirely lacks, everyone wants you to be there for them but they don't want to be there for you. Everyone wants to gain through you but never for you to gain from them. It is call selfishness, imagine a family of two brothers and a sister. Who actually grow together as kids but as things ho on, life became difficult that the younger sister have to stop her education for her own brother to gave it all and then takes care of her later. She cared for her brother and did anything hard to earn her brother Bsc certificate. The brother graduated and got a lucrative job and instead of him to turn to his sister and return the care and favour. He went and look for a pretty lady and started spending money on her. He actually left the younger sister to suffer
replied by ELITE (3,009 points) 3 8 16
Human beings are becoming very unreliable on daily basis,  simply because everyone one wants to be noticed and be fully comfortable at expense of others 
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answered by LEGEND (6,082 points) 7 22 49
There is nothing wrong in wanting to be loved and be taken care of either in marriages or in relationship. The major problem couples are facing this day, that is unavoidably leading to break ups is this issue of wanting to be taken care of without reciprocating the kind gesture.

Everyone wants their emotional and material needs to be met and yet they are not thinking about whether the other person is having same needs. This is an act of selfishness that is not doing any good to the growth of the relationship but instead weakening the bond holding the affair together. Because by the time one person is the only one doing the giving and not receiving, it would get to a point where exhaustion will set in and before you know it everything will be stagnated. And once this happens, it will only take the intervention of God for the relationship to survive.
replied by (19 points) 1 4
At some point I doubt things can be fixed. Everyone has their limit in tolerating others bad behaviour
replied by LEGEND (6,082 points) 7 22 49
That's just it. There is limit to tolerable level anybody can take even though if you're the kindest person on earth.
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answered by VISIONARY (9,009 points) 7 17 68
I can understand where you are coming from,it just that people are out to take care of themselves now it self love than sharing such love with others. In marriage the ideology should be give and take and not just taking all the time. I think women are worse hit because alot of men and husband's are becoming very selfish and see nothing wrong with not reciprocating their spouse's nice gestures


A man in a marriage will want the woman takes care of all his needs and even that of his family but wouldn't be there to do same for his wife,same with a woman.until we practise what God instructed us loving others as we love ourself,life will still be very difficult.

People should just learn to reciprocate all gestures love and loved, care and expect to be cared for. Do things and things would be done for you in return.
replied by (19 points) 1 4
I completely agree. Men are especially selfish. I don't know if its just me but especially these African men are the worst. They treat us women like slaves instead of life partners
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answered by ELITE (3,008 points) 4 13 28
In life, there is need for us to always understand that there are many aspects of life that we should consider when dealing with others. As far as I am concerned, there is nothing wrong in us wanting to be treated right the way that we always treat others. Life should be a give and take and this is awesome when you get the right person that can show you this kind of love.

However, there is need for us to understand that the people that we always want to do certain things for us may likely not be those that will show us that kind of love that we desire. I live my life in a happy way not minding how those around me treat me and this is an attitude that I think every one of us should adopt when we are trying to please ourselves. Love the life you live and bother less what others think.
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answered by LEGEND (6,021 points) 6 13 26
It is not wrong to want to be taken care of. In fact, it is your right to be taken care of. In marriages, there are always expectations from both parties. You shouldn't expect others to do something for you even when you do not reciprocate. Yes it is always give and take so you should be cared for just as you care.
Unfortunately, it isn't always like that. It seems one person is always taken advantage of and taken for granted sometimes. Until couples learn that it takes two to tango and they are together as a unit that will only function that way, one or both of them will always be unhappy in the relationship.

A relationship is between two people and needs maintenance. If it is always by one party, people will say that you are in a relationship with yourself.
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answered by ELITE (3,221 points) 5 12 23
I don't think the feeling of wanting to be loved is wrong in anyway, especially in a marriage. A marriage is a committed union between two people, so it's only normal that things be shared between such partners, things like reciprocal behaviors and feelings as well.
Just like someone stated below, everyone want to be loved and cared for all the time but doesn't want to give back in the manner gotten from others. I think this is very selfish behavior because it takes a good person to always give care and love and not get it back in return. Such people deserve to be respected and loved back as they can do almost anything for a loved one. This the reason why I hate to see spouses get into marital problems because the majority of the problems always has to do with this topic of discussion.
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answered by ELITE (3,663 points) 7 14 56
When two people enter into the a married sacrament, both agreed and promise to take their shares. But this, for some does not happen, for some of us do not understand what is the real meaning of the words we ought to say in front of the Lord and to everyone who witness the vows. Yes, we are married! Okay, you are married, so what is next? When married start to live together in one wall, that is means they are one, what is everything on the house is both theirs. Chores in the house must be shared, but when a woman get pregnant, she decided to stay at home mom, and the man will only work now for the family that they created. The wife will do everything in the house including the new member of the family, child. As usual, man wake up every morning and go to work, go home and relax and go to sleep. This is common to every household.but behold, men and women,. should help each other. Men when you come home from work, hug your wife and kiss to your child, play with your child while wife do in the kitchen for dinner, then share the supper together.  The wife now clean up the table and husband can help with the dishes so it will finished quickly and can spent time together in the lounge and make the baby asleep with turn overs. But again this is not reality. Th reality is opposite where husband after finished eating his dinner will go back to the lounge and sit and watch tv, while wife will continue the  chores in the kitchen. This is true and Im one of them.
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answered by VISIONARY (9,059 points) 5 21 51
I would not say this is wrong at all. Normally marriage is a two-way street and both people take care of each other. If you are always the one taking care of your partner then you need to sit down and have a serious talk with them. Let them know what just once you'd love it if they would be there for you and help take care of you. Do a few special things for you and make you feel that they still loved you. it should not be a one-way street and this makes you feel tired when it is. 

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