asked in Love+Relationships by VISIONARY (9,003 points) 6 10 19
Sometimes as humans we make the mistake of marrying a wrong spouse.if we realize this after 2 years will divorce be appropriate?
replied by ELITE (3,548 points) 3 7 11
In the western world, divorce is something that is very common and normal in the eyes of everyone but down here in Africa, people frown at divorce. 

So, it's a matter of the part of the world where you are staying that would determine whether divorce is seen as a good thing or a bad thing. 
replied by VISIONARY (9,003 points) 6 10 19
What do you think? We people get into divorce especially if kids are involved knowing fully well kids get affected

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answered by ELITE (3,548 points) 3 7 11
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When it comes to divorcing someone's lawfully wedded wife, the world have a different perspective and opinions on whether it's a good thing to do or something that shouldn't be considered unless it's proven beyond every reasonable doubt that it's far more better to divorce the married couples than allow them to keep living together as husband and wife and put both their lives at risk.


Normally, the Christianity religion is strictly against divorce. It's takes ages before the catholic church agrees to a man or women divorcing his or her partner for any reason whatsoever. The religion believes so much in reconciliation and make up instead of breaking apart and separating in the marriage.


But, in my opinion, if you are very much aware that you are interested in being committed in your marriage, don't get married at all because it's why most people get divorced within a short period of time.
replied by VISIONARY (9,003 points) 6 10 19
Definitely,some people get married for the wrong reasons and divorce is always the end product and it's even worse when kids are involved. Spouses should just sit up. 
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answered by ELITE (3,210 points) 4 8 18
Though our religions, Islam and Christianity which I believe the majority of us are, do not really encourage divorce, only in situations revolving around extra-marital unfaithfulness does God allow divorce. So from the perspective of religion, i would say divorce is a good option. But going back to the question, I think you're probably referring to other acts aside the accepted standard by religion, or the divorce itself. Meaning is it morally right to take the action of divorce?

I don't think there's anything morally wrong in divorce as it takes immorality from either partners for divorce to become an option. Personally, i think divorce is the best guarantee before going into marriage. Just like you stated above, people often make the mistake of choosing wrong partners, and it's not because they didn't court enough, it's simply because people and things change and as humans we have limited abilities to see what lies ahead. For this reasons, i believe divorce is a good choice of action.

However, divorce has almost become an all too familiar spectacle these days. The process has been really abused to a point you find someone who has had over three divorce in a lifetime. It's almost like a thing of pride for some people. Marriage is a serious commitment and as such would require a lot of effort like trust, patience, tolerance and even hurt, which a lot of people do not have or want to put in these days.
replied by VISIONARY (9,003 points) 6 10 19
Well stated it seem no body want to tolerate the next person and it becomes even worst when kids are involved.
replied by ELITE (3,210 points) 4 8 18
It's totally worst when kids are involved. Situations like this can make or break a child. I think the decision of taking divorce when kids are involved is a real tough decision to make. Maybe that's one of the reasons why here in Naija we have less divorce cases. 
replied by VISIONARY (9,003 points) 6 10 19
It's never a palatable one for the kids,it can so make them suffer and it can affect them psychologically and I just believe couple should always try to keep away their differences and come together for the sake of the kids.
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answered by LEGEND (6,007 points) 5 9 19
As much as I would want to condemn divorce, your well being is as important as any other thing and if you are not happy and you do not see the light at the end of the tunnel, there's no need to stick around much longer. Even when you do, you will not be the same happy person and things won't be as a marriage should be anyway.

Marriage is hard work. It is love, trust, compassion, understanding, tolerance and basically being happy. You can't give what you don't have and you can't also get from your partner what they don't have. Before you make divorce an option, make sure that you've exhausted all the ways in and out of the book to save your marriage.

There's a notion which goes like only cheating causes divorce but that really isn't the only case. It could be violence, disrespect, lack of responsibility, lack of love and many other things too. A lot of people can go into depression as well.
replied by VISIONARY (9,003 points) 6 10 19
Definitely some divorce is cause by financial instability in the family.It always bad for kids in such families.i always hope something can be done to rectify that. 
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answered by ELITE (3,642 points) 6 8 14
Sometimes we made a mistakes too by taking decisions right away because we are in emotional states. Marriage is not as easy as eating a hot food and you spit it up easily. Marriage is sacred. Marriage is not easy to live up, most couples end up their marriage because of unmet expectations. This unmet expectations is common, for example, you coming home from your work and when you get home you expect the house is clean, your meal is ready, and your wife is wearing sexy neat dress and hug you and kiss you. Well, not everyday this will happen. Sometimes wives need more attentions than men think of. As a wife I expect my husband who come home from work to have time with his two children, but this does not happen. He will come home sit down in a couch open up the computer and start playing his favorite game. There is no fatherhood in this situation. But, I don't divorce my husband just because of this. Sometimes I think he is not the right peron for me at all, he never appreciates me, he never look at me, he always react to the things I do, he will complain his dinner and most of all we always argue even in a small things. But because of our children we stayed. Divorce is not the answer to everything  just because we married the wrong person. It is because we expect too much that our other half cannot met what we expecting. I think things would be different if we would just be responsible for being a husband and wife and even as a parent. There is no perfect marriage.
replied by VISIONARY (9,003 points) 6 10 19
This is what we should all think about no perfect person and no perfect marriage.Until there's a total break down I don't think divorce should be talked about. 
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answered by (11 points) 1
Yes,as humans we make mistakes,sometimes to the extend that living with a wrong patner which kills us emotionally.I dont think that anyone should tolerate to a toxic relationship where there is no love,no respect,no trust,no sharing,no affection between the patners.Nobody is perfect but we have dreams and wishes of our own,where we tries to make it real,but some relationships fails even we give our 100%,or comprmises i every manner,still the other person may not be satisfied with us,we also have every right to get everything needed in a relationship,if we find we have made a mistake by choosing a wrong patner then without hesitation we should part..And give a better chance to live happily,afterall life can be lived only once,we should have happiness , innerpeace and ,satisfaction..If we dont find these minimum requirements in that married life,we should end it there..
replied by VISIONARY (9,003 points) 6 10 19
Well,I know we should find our happiness at all but you know there's no perfect person I think if a partner isn't violent,then the marriage should be given a chance especially if kids are involved.
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answered by ELITE (3,091 points) 2 6 11
Divorce is actually an extreme decision in marriage which must never be thought of by either party at anytime. Going by the beauty of life and every great attributes that surrounds it. Such of those attributes is love, and love doesn't exist without certain percentage of infatuation. Thus,, it is actually unfortunate for two person who have ever appreciated each other and were happy because of each other turn out to be strangers.

But I don't think diverse will be a better solution because in my line of faith, when you diverse your spouse the possibility of coming back is too difficult since there are much steps to follow.

And since human being are all full of imperfections, it might actually be hurting to keep such a spouse cclose but it is better than divorcing. Let me give us this small analogy; when you dash out a cloth or shoe you've worn and now found less befitting to your younger one. After the younger one washed, adjust and irons the cloth. If you're not careful , you might be pushed to want to have the cloth back because that is when you will see the real beauty of the cloth.

Endurance and prayer, is the best!
replied by VISIONARY (9,003 points) 6 10 19
Yes,it's better spouse's try to iron out whatever problem wants to break them up and deal with it with prayers that way they can overcome any problem together.
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answered by ELITE (3,005 points) 3 10 14
In the Christian religion, when we talk about marriage, we are trying to analyze that situation where you get to feel alright as regards the need to marry someone that you love, someone that you care about and the person who you are ready to spend the entire life with it. This is what marriage is all about and I believe that majority of the people have gotten to understand that when a man and a woman weds in the church promising each other that they are going to remain husband and wife no matter the situation that presents itself, I think that they mean it.

So, it always puzzle me on the need that people now decide to divorce those that they want to marry all in the name of one issue or another. I mean that there are ways that we can get a matter resolved without going for a divorce and this is something that married people should always think about.
replied by VISIONARY (9,003 points) 6 10 19
I think having a divorce is always the extreme,no perfect person anywhere all we need to do is accomodate one another and make amends. 
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answered by ELITE (3,008 points) 2 6 13
Divorce to some is good while to majority it is not a good one.
There are some people who have contract marriage which simply means that after a while there will be separation or divorce  between the two partners  so these set of people they see divorce as a good thing.
To some people that are genuinely married with the hope of living together as man and wife forever till death part them, Divorce is an unfortunate and unwilling decision that couples have to take as a result of their in ability to manage their togetherness.
In my opinion divorce is not advisable at all because it has seriously effect on the children that both partners give birth to psychologically and also in their moral behavior because most the children whose parents have divorced do Stay with grandma and they may not get the required training
replied by VISIONARY (9,003 points) 6 10 19
I used to really pity the children involved,in all this it always the children going through one crisis or the other.its better couples try to amend their crack marriages at least for the sake of the kids.
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answered by LEGEND (6,077 points) 6 9 22
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Marriage is a holy matrimony involving the unification of two different people. These people are different in terms of character, personality, preferences,etc. But them coming together, I was made to understand that they've become one. Meaning that they are expected to work out their differences through sacrifices and compromise for them to be one as the meaning of the word supposed to be.

Unfortunately, marriage no longer have two people willing to sacrifice for each other. You hear a thing like I am not the romantic type, I am not the affectionate type, etc. And to make matter worst, some couples are living as if they are total strangers in their matrimonial homes. And they will claim they are enduring the marriage because of whatever reason. Marriage is not meant to be endured but enjoy. When it becomes an affair to endure, it ceased to be a union seen as holy. In that case divorce becomes inevitable.

As far me, I am not getting into marriage just for the sake of making babies as the stereotype is with many people. Instead I am looking for somebody that will be my best friend, someone I can play with, someone I will be with and I will not be thinking of hanging out with the boys
In a nutshell, my wife is going to be my soulmate. And if all these expectations are not met in my marriage, I won't think twice about seeking for a divorce because I can't have a wife in house, and I'll be feeling boring and lonely, because marriage is all about companionship.

And so, cheating is not only the cause of divorces, but the deprivation of one's partners needs like emotional needs can also lead to it. Maybe those that are materialistic can also hinge their excuse on lack of material needs.
replied by VISIONARY (9,003 points) 6 10 19
This is the whole essence of marriage, companionship.The couples need to come together and get committed to the marriage and see it work for themselves and their children.

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