asked in Love+Relationships by (253 points) 1 2 11
I have an office mate who used to be my super friend. we were so closed. then one day she just keep telling my other office mates bad things about me. When we were still friends, I told her one big secret. then, I just knew that most of my office mates already know the secret. She even keep things personally even when we were in the office. I tried talking to her but she is pushing me away. i messaged her in facebook and did not even bother to read it.

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answered by Patron (1,551 points) 2 9 24
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If a co-worker or even you boss is trying to make you look bad,then you can't just ignore them.You should confront it.Backstabbing is something most people will have to deal with at a point in their lives.

I think the first thing to do is to actually figure out if you are a victim of sabotage and if so,who is behind it.One tricky thing about finding your saboteur is the fact that their actions are subtle.

Have a talk with the person.Give your colleague a chance to explain her action. That may resolve the issue.Maintain a professional tone throughout the coversation and cite evidence of your suspicion.

Be prepared for the backstabber to Deny so don't back down.If the two of you can't resolve the issue,alert your manager to resolve the issue.

You may go straight to the manager if you think that confronting the person won't solve the issue but a good rule of thumb is to do this only if their is a business impact e.g the deadline for a project was not met.If the backstabber*s end result has a negative impact on a business outcome,it is easier to make a case.This will not make your colleagues see you as a jealous,difficult person.
replied by (253 points) 1 2 11
I want to be as professional as possible that is why I don't want my manager to know that I am affected by this issue. Thank you for the advice, but for now I think I will just ignore her.
replied by Patron (1,551 points) 2 9 24
Well,if you think that will work,then do it..but I think it would be better to confront the person with evidence of your suspicion if you don't want the manager to own advice though....
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answered by (101 points) 1 4
Well, the straightaway option is to avoid him and let him do whatever he is doing on your back. Your character and your cool response will let him down eventually. In every office, such nerds exist, but it's up to you how you react.
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answered by (73 points) 1 3
Well the best way to get rid off it is to confront or approach your office mate personally and calmly and let the two of you talk about your concern. Do it in a professional way and do not let your emotion get ahead of you.

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