menu search
brightness_auto
Ask or Answer anything Anonymously! No sign-up is needed!
more_vert
I have an office mate who used to be my super friend. we were so closed. then one day she just keep telling my other office mates bad things about me. When we were still friends, I told her one big secret. then, I just knew that most of my office mates already know the secret. She even keep things personally even when we were in the office. I tried talking to her but she is pushing me away. i messaged her in facebook and did not even bother to read it.

19 Answers

more_vert
 
done_all
Best answer
If a co-worker or even you boss is trying to make you look bad,then you can't just ignore them.You should confront it.Backstabbing is something most people will have to deal with at a point in their lives.

I think the first thing to do is to actually figure out if you are a victim of sabotage and if so,who is behind it.One tricky thing about finding your saboteur is the fact that their actions are subtle.

Have a talk with the person.Give your colleague a chance to explain her action. That may resolve the issue.Maintain a professional tone throughout the coversation and cite evidence of your suspicion.

Be prepared for the backstabber to Deny so don't back down.If the two of you can't resolve the issue,alert your manager to resolve the issue.

You may go straight to the manager if you think that confronting the person won't solve the issue but a good rule of thumb is to do this only if their is a business impact e.g the deadline for a project was not met.If the backstabber*s end result has a negative impact on a business outcome,it is easier to make a case.This will not make your colleagues see you as a jealous,difficult person.
thumb_up_off_alt 0 like thumb_down_off_alt 0 dislike
more_vert
I want to be as professional as possible that is why I don't want my manager to know that I am affected by this issue. Thank you for the advice, but for now I think I will just ignore her.
more_vert
Well,if you think that will work,then do it..but I think it would be better to confront the person with evidence of your suspicion if you don't want the manager to know..my own advice though....
more_vert

There are a few options that you may have. First, you could try confronting your office mate about what she is doing. It may be uncomfortable, but it may be the only way to get rid of her and get back to a healthy and supportive relationship. You could also try ignoring her when she starts to talk bad about you. This may be difficult, but it may be the best way to protect yourself from her negativity. Finally, you could try to move away from her office and find a new group of friends. This can be difficult, but it may be the best way to protect yourself from her negative comments.

thumb_up_off_alt 2 like thumb_down_off_alt 0 dislike
more_vert
Well, the straightaway option is to avoid him and let him do whatever he is doing on your back. Your character and your cool response will let him down eventually. In every office, such nerds exist, but it's up to you how you react.
thumb_up_off_alt 0 like thumb_down_off_alt 0 dislike
more_vert
Well the best way to get rid off it is to confront or approach your office mate personally and calmly and let the two of you talk about your concern. Do it in a professional way and do not let your emotion get ahead of you.
thumb_up_off_alt 0 like thumb_down_off_alt 0 dislike
more_vert
Insecurity can ruin a friendship even how strong the foundation is. That person is not your true friend, she's a wolf under a sheep's clothing. That serves as a lesson to you to never trust someone easily and never share your secrets with someone in just one sitting. You cannot do something about that. Just continue being true to yourself, because you know yourself more. Kill her with kindness. 
thumb_up_off_alt 0 like thumb_down_off_alt 0 dislike
more_vert
For me the best way to do first if he/she did not want to talk to you or keep on ignoring you, let it be. Time will answer the reason why. Just don't be affected by what she/he is broadcasting against you...it will pass...Nobody knows the truth, except you. It's their loss. Just be calm, do your responsibility. What is important is that you don't do anything wrong with them. And don't even fight back, it can worsen the situation. Let the purest of your heart win over them. Stay positive always, keep the best in you.
thumb_up_off_alt 0 like thumb_down_off_alt 0 dislike
more_vert
In every office, there are always one person who talks our behind. Avoid that kind of people. There is no use in explaining yourself to them. So just avoid them by your activities.  
thumb_up_off_alt 0 like thumb_down_off_alt 0 dislike
more_vert
If an office mate tells bad things about, you behind your back you should teach him the Lesson, so that he will not do that in his life.
thumb_up_off_alt 0 like thumb_down_off_alt 0 dislike
more_vert
I've worked with a lot of messy co workers. The best way to handle those individuals is not tell your business to them and remain cordial. Never let them know you are irritated by their behavior and the other individual will find out how trifling they behave when sharing other lies.  
thumb_up_off_alt 0 like thumb_down_off_alt 0 dislike
more_vert
This friend and work mate has already proven to you that she is not that one kind of a trustworthy friend to keep. You should keep her off and keep your private life to yourself until you get another good friend whom you can trust each other. 
thumb_up_off_alt 0 like thumb_down_off_alt 0 dislike
more_vert
He or she will feel sorry for doing it. I will surely report him or her directly to the Human Resources Department. It is not acceptable for me to experience this from them.
thumb_up_off_alt 0 like thumb_down_off_alt 0 dislike
more_vert
If people don't talk about you then you are definitely not human, as a human being people must talk about you both good and bad, so you don't need to feel bothered about what they say,if they lie about you just continue to do the right thing one day the truth must prevail. 
thumb_up_off_alt 0 like thumb_down_off_alt 0 dislike
more_vert
I don't know what happened between you both so that she is talking badly about you and spread your secret.

you should not be that weak to let her do this and also trying to message her on face book, you should ask her face to face why she is doing this and what did you did wrong for her to do all this, if she don't answer and ignore you just you have to tell her to close her mouth and respect herself, she is free not to talk to you, but she doesn't have the right to talk about you and spread your secret.

you should learn two things in life :

1) never to tell anyone your secrets specially friends.

2) never to let anyone insult you.

 don't  send her messages threw Facebook because she will show them to others on work so don't give her a chance to do this.

last thing avoid her and just ignore her these type of people are not friends at all.
thumb_up_off_alt 0 like thumb_down_off_alt 0 dislike
more_vert
I think the best way to stop her from telling others about you is just to avoid her for some time, but you can still exchange greetings but don't talk about your self.
thumb_up_off_alt 0 like thumb_down_off_alt 0 dislike
more_vert
For me, stay away from him. Just do your best at work and let your achievements slap his face. Act cool and natural and ignore those words against you, also ignore the ones who believe in his gossip about you because they never knew how good you are rather than them 
thumb_up_off_alt 0 like thumb_down_off_alt 0 dislike
more_vert
I would try to talk to her about it and see if she would change her story. If she does not want to talk about it, then I would recommend that she stay away from her interests and activities because she is not likely to be a good fit for your organization.
thumb_up_off_alt 0 like thumb_down_off_alt 0 dislike
more_vert
Get curious.

Discover why.

The key to this is dignity.

Don't take the bait and don't feed the trolls.

Ignore it.

Discuss it with your manager.

Confront it head-on.

Report it to HR.
thumb_up_off_alt 0 like thumb_down_off_alt 0 dislike
more_vert
Have a talk with the person.Give your colleague a chance to explain her action. That may resolve the issue.Maintain a professional tone throughout the coversation and cite evidence of your suspicion.
thumb_up_off_alt 0 like thumb_down_off_alt 0 dislike
more_vert
Be prepared for the backstabber to Deny so don't back down.If the two of you can't resolve the issue,alert your manager to resolve the issue.
thumb_up_off_alt 0 like thumb_down_off_alt 0 dislike

Related questions

Whenever you have a question in your mind, just drop it on Answeree. Help our community grow.
...