I have nothing to do with the rivalries between our families. Even though their parents have wronged us (ex. cheated on the distribution of income in family business, disregarded us when my father lost his job, etc.), I don't take a grudge on my cousins. One day, her parents and my other aunt had a heated conversation. My parents and I have nothing to do with this. We were totally ignorant of the situation. In fact, I was busy working in another province. I just found out one day that my cousins have blocked me and my family on Facebook. They celebrate birthdays and other occasions without inviting us, when all of our neighbors and random vendors near the compound (not even our relatives) were all invited. They have been talking behind us and disrespecting my parents. Years had passed, when we received a call from a distant relative. This relative asked us to help my cousins find a work since they have been jobless for years. This always happen in the past, every time they need help, they will reconcile with us. And after we have helped them, the same chaos happens again. I would like to help them, however, they don't have a good record based on their previous employers. I am afraid that my work will be affected in case I help them get in the same company I work with or with my friends' companies. Am I really obliged to help them?
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13 Answers
I personally would disregard their request and not help them at all. I have a family that is very similar to yours and I also have to deal with this on a daily basis. There comes a time in your life that you have to look the other way and make them fend for their selves. You need to worry about your work, your job, and your family. If they have blocked you, refuse to socialize with you, and now need your help this is wrong. They can not use you and then throw you away like a piece of trash. I would not bother to waste my time with people like this. Stand proud and ignore their request. Do not allow yourself to get back into this cycle of abuse from your family. You are better than this and need to realize it now.
With this matter, it depends on how serious the problem is. Early this year, my family and I cut the tie with our relatives. Since I was a child, I had seen them how they pulled my family down. When my old man died, the worse had they became. Now, we do not need to deal with them. It is better than having them in our lives.
You should not help your ungrateful relative.
There are many reasons why you should not help your ungrateful relative. First, helping them would only further aggravate their relationship with your family. Second, helping them could put your own safety at risk. Third, you might end up getting involved in a conflict that you were not originally intending to be part of. Finally, helping them could actually make their problems worse.
There are many reasons why you should not help your ungrateful relative. First, helping them would only further aggravate their relationship with your family. Second, helping them could put your own safety at risk. Third, you might end up getting involved in a conflict that you were not originally intending to be part of. Finally, helping them could actually make their problems worse.
The best thing here is that you don't want to treat them the same way they did for you and your family.
It's up to you if you want to help them but keep them far away from the company you are working in , and far away from your friends.
You can advice them where to find a work and apply for it by themselves.but don't take responsibilty for them in any place .
All you can do is advice them for places far away from you,and they do what they should do.
If they want to talk to you again, keep the relation in a hi and short conversation.
As for facebook and that they blocked you,it's not that big deal . Any one can block people or unfriend them because they don't want them in their list.
I already block some relatives from my facebook and delete other , because sometimes we don't need some people on our facebook.
Definitely not! In life you don't get to choose your family, but you can choose relationships....and who you maintain a relationship with. Maintaining relationships with toxic people is a fool's quest. Toxic people take as much as they can, then demand more, and give nothing but trouble in return. Tell your "distant relative" NO! Explain why. Do not debate. If your "distant relative" persists, that is a clear sign he/she is on their side, and determined to pressure you into helping them, and it's time to sever communication.
They did not care about family or bloodlines before, so why should you now? They cut you out of their lives before, so why should you not do so now? Since they did not want you to be a part of their family, now is the perfect time to grant their wish permanently. Just how many times do you have to help them before you wake up to being used and abused? Cut them loose, cast them adrift, and prove to them you will no longer be their doormat or backup plan.
They did not care about family or bloodlines before, so why should you now? They cut you out of their lives before, so why should you not do so now? Since they did not want you to be a part of their family, now is the perfect time to grant their wish permanently. Just how many times do you have to help them before you wake up to being used and abused? Cut them loose, cast them adrift, and prove to them you will no longer be their doormat or backup plan.
You are not obliged to help them since they are old enough and exert effort to find a job on their own. There are people like that even your own relatives. No matter what good things you do for them they are still ungrateful. They only know you because they need something from you. These are user kinds of people. But you know whatever good deeds you do to others the good karma will come back to you and the opposite on those who are doing bad. Time will come bad karma will happen to them at the right time and others can do that for you. If you want to help them it's okay if you like so you won't have regrets later that you did not help them. Make sure not to apply them to your company or your friend's company. For sure later on, if something happens to them you are the one being blamed or shamed by other people for helping them.
There is no one-size-fits-all answer to this question, as the situation of your relative's family may vary from one case to the next. In some cases, it may not be appropriate for you to help them, as their actions may have negative consequences for you or your community. Additionally, it may be difficult for you to stay impartial in the situation, as you may have personal feelings towards your cousins. If you feel that you have a duty to help them, it is best to speak to them directly and explain your feelings.