asked in Love+Relationships by (253 points) 1 2 11
I have nothing to do with the rivalries between our families. Even though their parents have wronged us (ex. cheated on the distribution of income in family business, disregarded us when my father lost his job, etc.), I don't take a grudge on my cousins. One day, her parents and my other aunt had a heated conversation. My parents and I have nothing to do with this. We were totally ignorant of the situation. In fact, I was busy working in another province. I just found out one day that my cousins have blocked me and my family on Facebook. They celebrate birthdays and other occasions without inviting us, when all of our neighbors and random vendors near the compound (not even our relatives) were all invited. They have been talking behind us and disrespecting my parents. Years had passed, when we received a call from a distant relative. This relative asked us to help my cousins find a work since they have been jobless for years. This always happen in the past, every time they need help, they will reconcile with us. And after we have helped them, the same chaos happens again. I would like to help them, however, they don't have a good record based on their previous employers. I am afraid that my work will be affected in case I help them get in the same company I work with or with my friends' companies. Am I really obliged to help them?

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answered by VISIONARY (9,060 points) 5 21 52
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I personally would disregard their request and not help them at all. I have a family that is very similar to yours and I also have to deal with this on a daily basis. There comes a time in your life that you have to look the other way and make them fend for their selves. You need to worry about your work, your job, and your family. If they have blocked you, refuse to socialize with you, and now need your help this is wrong. They can not use you and then throw you away like a piece of trash. I would not bother to waste my time with people like this. Stand proud and ignore their request. Do not allow yourself to get back into this cycle of abuse from your family. You are better than this and need to realize it now.

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