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You don't get angry with children. You teach them to behave they way you think is right.
Anger is a learned response. You had to learn when to be angry and how to act in each case. Well, you can learn to act some other way. First you need to realize that children are not your enemies, they are merely untrained.
Example: You don't scold a kid because he can't read, you sit him on your lap and read to him. In time he will start to read to you. That is how a kid learns to read. Anger has nothing to do with it.
The same approach works with any other behavior you want a kid to learn. Kid says a bad word. You respond with dramatic horror and move to protect him. "Do you know what that word means?" He doesn't. "Well, I think it's really STUPID to say a word when you don't know what it means! You don't say that word any more." "That's a good boy."
Anger has no place in the scene.
Anger is a learned response. You had to learn when to be angry and how to act in each case. Well, you can learn to act some other way. First you need to realize that children are not your enemies, they are merely untrained.
Example: You don't scold a kid because he can't read, you sit him on your lap and read to him. In time he will start to read to you. That is how a kid learns to read. Anger has nothing to do with it.
The same approach works with any other behavior you want a kid to learn. Kid says a bad word. You respond with dramatic horror and move to protect him. "Do you know what that word means?" He doesn't. "Well, I think it's really STUPID to say a word when you don't know what it means! You don't say that word any more." "That's a good boy."
Anger has no place in the scene.
There’s nothing wrong with feeling anger. It’s a normal human feeling. We are, however, responsible for our actions when we feel anger. Try detaching from the things that are triggering the feelings. Make sure you are taking care of your own needs. If you’re tired or hungry or stressed because you’ve taken on too much, address those issues and it might be easier to deal with frustrations of parenting.
It is constant struggle for parents to become calm everytime there are arguments with their kids. As for me, i count 1-10 before my anger explodes and remind myself that my child is God's gift to me. And God is so patient with me too. I also try to divert my anger by listening to music or taking time to inahale and exhale.
Growing up many children are forced to be in a home where the parents fight, angry words are said to one another, or there is no love what so ever that is given to the children. This makes a lasting impression on the child and they grow up feeling this is normal and the way it should be. Where in fact this is not the way it should be. I grew up in a home such as this and when I had my daughter I swore I would not be like my mom and I refused to just take my anger out on her. It was hard at first but as she grew up and the joy she brought me made it all the easier to not revert back to my childhood with her. You are the one who has to make this work for you and make the decision to change the life cycle and the way you are with your children. This will not be easy because of the way you grew up. Instead of yelling and getting mad take the time to sit down and talk to your kids like adults. You will be surprised at how they respond and how much they need this too. I never treated my daughter as a child I always talked to her like I would talk to my friends. This was one of the best things I ever did because it brought us closer together and even today she still calls me when something is wrong or she needs advise with her own kids.
Everyone gets angry with each other sometimes and it's quite normal. A few angry words will not damage a child and when you calm down you can hug your child and say sorry and explain why you were upset. My parents used to get angry with me when I was young and I know I deserved it, I used to shout at my children too but none of us have grown up with anger issues. It's all part and parcel of being human.
However if the anger turns into violence then you have a problem but if you are just sharing a few harsh words, don't feel bad as we all get like that sometimes.
However if the anger turns into violence then you have a problem but if you are just sharing a few harsh words, don't feel bad as we all get like that sometimes.
First you need to understand that it takes time for children to learn, so you correct them with examples because children learn easily with examples. Let them see the reason behind your correction. Also you need to understand that you were once a child and some of their behavior were what your parent put up with. Thirdly, children need a mixture of love and correction for a perfect growth, correction not through beating but through discipline.
There are many ways to hold back anger from children. One way is to be around when their siblings are age 18 or older and have their children follow their example and stop building themselves into mountains. Another way is to be patient and keep promising your children that you will be there for them, even when they're old and gray. And a third way is to be there when their children's anger is expressed in reckless and harmful ways.
Holding back anger when dealing with your children can be challenging but is essential for maintaining a healthy parent-child relationship. Here are some strategies to help you manage your anger and respond effectively:
1. **Take Deep Breaths**: When you feel anger rising, take a few deep breaths. Deep breathing can help calm your nerves and give you a moment to think before reacting.
2. **Step Away**: If you're on the verge of losing your temper, step away from the situation for a moment. Give yourself time to cool down and regain your composure.
3. **Count to Ten**: Counting to ten can help delay your immediate reaction. It's a simple technique that allows you to pause and consider your response.
4. **Practice Mindfulness**: Mindfulness techniques can help you stay in the present moment and manage your emotions. Focus on what's happening right now, not on past frustrations or future worries.
5. **Identify Triggers**: Recognize what triggers your anger. Is it a certain behavior or situation? Identifying the triggers can help you be more prepared to handle them.
6. **Set Realistic Expectations**: Understand that children will make mistakes and misbehave. Adjust your expectations to be realistic for their age and development.
7. **Use "I" Statements**: Instead of saying, "You always make a mess," say, "I feel frustrated when I see a mess." This way, you express your feelings without blaming your child.
8. **Active Listening**: Listen to your child's perspective and feelings. Sometimes, they may act out due to their own frustrations or emotions. Understanding their viewpoint can diffuse anger.
9. **Positive Reinforcement**: Encourage good behavior and reinforce positive actions with praise and rewards. Positive reinforcement can help reduce negative interactions.
10. **Problem-Solving Together**: Involve your child in finding solutions to problems or conflicts. This can empower them to make better choices and reduce the need for punishment.
11. **Seek Support**: If you find that anger is a persistent issue, consider seeking support from a therapist or counselor. They can provide strategies and guidance for managing your emotions.
12. **Self-Care**: Ensure you take care of yourself physically and emotionally. Proper sleep, nutrition, and self-care activities can improve your ability to handle stress and anger.
Remember that it's normal to feel frustrated or angry at times when parenting, but it's how you respond to these emotions that matters. Practicing patience, empathy, and effective communication can help you hold back your anger and foster a healthy, loving relationship with your children.
1. **Take Deep Breaths**: When you feel anger rising, take a few deep breaths. Deep breathing can help calm your nerves and give you a moment to think before reacting.
2. **Step Away**: If you're on the verge of losing your temper, step away from the situation for a moment. Give yourself time to cool down and regain your composure.
3. **Count to Ten**: Counting to ten can help delay your immediate reaction. It's a simple technique that allows you to pause and consider your response.
4. **Practice Mindfulness**: Mindfulness techniques can help you stay in the present moment and manage your emotions. Focus on what's happening right now, not on past frustrations or future worries.
5. **Identify Triggers**: Recognize what triggers your anger. Is it a certain behavior or situation? Identifying the triggers can help you be more prepared to handle them.
6. **Set Realistic Expectations**: Understand that children will make mistakes and misbehave. Adjust your expectations to be realistic for their age and development.
7. **Use "I" Statements**: Instead of saying, "You always make a mess," say, "I feel frustrated when I see a mess." This way, you express your feelings without blaming your child.
8. **Active Listening**: Listen to your child's perspective and feelings. Sometimes, they may act out due to their own frustrations or emotions. Understanding their viewpoint can diffuse anger.
9. **Positive Reinforcement**: Encourage good behavior and reinforce positive actions with praise and rewards. Positive reinforcement can help reduce negative interactions.
10. **Problem-Solving Together**: Involve your child in finding solutions to problems or conflicts. This can empower them to make better choices and reduce the need for punishment.
11. **Seek Support**: If you find that anger is a persistent issue, consider seeking support from a therapist or counselor. They can provide strategies and guidance for managing your emotions.
12. **Self-Care**: Ensure you take care of yourself physically and emotionally. Proper sleep, nutrition, and self-care activities can improve your ability to handle stress and anger.
Remember that it's normal to feel frustrated or angry at times when parenting, but it's how you respond to these emotions that matters. Practicing patience, empathy, and effective communication can help you hold back your anger and foster a healthy, loving relationship with your children.