menu search
brightness_auto
Ask or Answer anything Anonymously! No sign-up is needed!
more_vert

Personally, I tried my best to help my friend out. However, there is always a limitation in helping him or her. For instance, if he or she is becoming abusive with my kindness, then I need to stop.


Am I becoming selfish if doing this?


image


Image Credit: tolerance.org

24 Answers

more_vert
 
done_all
Best answer
Reach out. Sometimes when a friend is struggling to cope they may isolate themselves. ...

2

Find a good time to talk. ...

3

Be a good listener. ...

4

Encourage your friend to seek help. ...

5

Know when to back down. ...

6

Educate yourself.
thumb_up_off_alt 1 like thumb_down_off_alt 0 dislike
more_vert
I do think that reaching them out will be a good option. However, we need to be sensitive. Sometimes they are not comfortable opening up.
more_vert
Good friends show their love in times of trouble, not just in time of happiness. Me plus my friend equals 
more_vert
I agree a friend in need is a friend indeed and we need to help each other no matter the weather. 
more_vert
It depends on the situation at hand. If your friend is in trouble with the law because he/she broke it, better let the proper authorities deal with it. When it comes to financial problems, try to determine the nature of the problem. If your friend only needs money for any capricious purposes, then I don't think it's wise to enable your friend for it. If it's an emotional or psychological problem, being there and empathizing with your friend is more helpful than giving unsolicited advices.
thumb_up_off_alt 2 like thumb_down_off_alt 0 dislike
more_vert
I like this answer. Sometimes we're in a dilemma on what to do when a friend is in trouble. 

I think, I would be there to listen without a word hear him/her out why he's in trouble. Unless, I'm a 'shrink' or trustworthy friend to whom he/she came to me for answers and help strategize his/her next move.
more_vert
@MingQuote I agree that he or she needs to be punished if violating any government's laws. This friend of mine only needs emotional support. When it comes to financial matters, he will not get something from me. I do not want to ruin the friendship because of it.
more_vert
In my case i am the type of unconditional friendship, no matter what happened in the past if you're meaningful to me i will always be there for you and a faithful believer of do good without looking at who, as long as you draw a line that limits when they want to abuse your kidness, so if your intentions are pure and selfless that the other persone is doing to do well and can solve the problem, you have nothing to worry about being selfish because they're the ones that are trying to take advantage of it. 
thumb_up_off_alt 1 like thumb_down_off_alt 0 dislike
more_vert
I am glad that you had pointed this out. Well, I think everything has always limitations. We just need to be rightful in what we do and decide in dealing with abusive friends.
more_vert
When my friends are in trouble it is my duty as  a friend and neighbor to assist them in both good and difficult times because a friend in need is a  friend indeed.
thumb_up_off_alt 1 like thumb_down_off_alt 0 dislike
more_vert
I am sure that your friends are lucky to have you. With your words, I can say that you have a golden heart.
more_vert
Yes there is a limitation to whatever help you can give, the type of help you provide depends on the need of your friend, take for example if your friend is in financial problem you can help by providing him/her the resources out of that problem, that is if you have.  You can also offer advice to your friend, but everything depends on your means. 
thumb_up_off_alt 1 like thumb_down_off_alt 0 dislike
more_vert
The only problem when lending money to a friend. he or she sometimes forget to pay you back. Personally, I can help others, but not financially. It is always a root cause of misunderstanding.
more_vert
Be available. Continue to be supportive. ...

2

Offer help. Give suggestions, if and when your friend reaches out to you and asks for your advice.

3

Become informed. ...

4

Talk to someone yourself. ...

5

Set boundaries. ...

6

Don't force the issue or put pressure on them. ...

7

Don't avoid them.
thumb_up_off_alt 1 like thumb_down_off_alt 0 dislike
more_vert
It is not good if we are going to leave them with his or her personal issues. If we do this, we are not a real friend to her or him.
more_vert
I agree. If your friend is abusing your kindness and is taking advantage of you, you must end it. Enough is enough sometimes. If that friend is in financial trouble, help him or her find and land into a good job.
thumb_up_off_alt 1 like thumb_down_off_alt 0 dislike
more_vert
You said it right. It is unhealthy to continue the relationship being friends with this person.
more_vert
I try to my best level to solve his problem. If my friends in any problem it means I'm in problem. I'm in problem then matter is how came. So for 
thumb_up_off_alt 1 like thumb_down_off_alt 0 dislike
more_vert
That's a good friend. We can do this if our friends want us to intervene. Good advice won't hurt him or her.
more_vert
It is very sad to see a friend or a relative suffering or in need, especially when they pretend that everything is all right. It is a delicate situation when approaching someone in this predicament, as often a persons pride stands in the way of reaching out for comfort. 
thumb_up_off_alt 1 like thumb_down_off_alt 0 dislike
more_vert
I agree. That is the reason why we need to be sensitive if others do need our helping hand. In fact, it is a gift of being one.
more_vert
Show simpathy to them, ask them if they need some help from you or not as sometimes people don't want to be bothered or need alone when facing a problem. When they invite you to come, give some suggestion to find solution while give them encouragement to stay strong during the bad situation.
thumb_up_off_alt 1 like thumb_down_off_alt 0 dislike
more_vert
You have a point here. We need to ask first if they need some help. If not, then we can just let it go and tell them that we can still be available anytime.
more_vert
  • Talk to them
  • Get to the bottom of the problem
  • be respectful and not judgy 
  • Try to cheer them up
  • stay by their side at all times
  • Listen carefully
  • seek help
  • I would suggest therapist ( and tell them all the ways it has helped me)
  • be their guidance
  • give them hope and security

thumb_up_off_alt 1 like thumb_down_off_alt 0 dislike
more_vert
Thanks for the list of tips here. I am sure I can nail the way of helping others. 
more_vert
Reach them  out and make  sure  to talk to him  to  set things  straight. This would be a perfect avenue for your friend to express and explain as to why things turn out like this and the venue  for you to make sure your friend is in the right track. 
thumb_up_off_alt 1 like thumb_down_off_alt 0 dislike
more_vert
It needs to be empathetic when dealing with these people. I am sure you can help them without any shortcomings.
more_vert
i would help them as much as i could in every possible way without making the situation worse for them and myself and offer advice as much as i could
thumb_up_off_alt 1 like thumb_down_off_alt 0 dislike
more_vert
Your friends are lucky to have you. For the reason that you are still thinking about their welfare and not to get hurt or hard along the process of being with them, especially in times of hardships or troubles.
more_vert
I help them if they are true friends, anyway sometimes I help strangers then what if a true friend. but also if that friend is not good or I discover something I will pull back.
thumb_up_off_alt 1 like thumb_down_off_alt 0 dislike
more_vert
I know where it is coming from. It is not good to be a martyr over some friends who do not treat you well.
more_vert
I'm going to help as much as I can. If he struggles and being depressed about the hardship this life is giving him, I'll approach him and talk about what's hard for him. 
thumb_up_off_alt 0 like thumb_down_off_alt 0 dislike
more_vert
Just stand by her side, listen to her what she exactly wants to say, ask her the reason for her distress, comfort her by telling that I'll face the following problem with you and convince her that nothing can stop her from doing what she actually wants to do.
thumb_up_off_alt 0 like thumb_down_off_alt 0 dislike
more_vert
I would do my best to be there for them in times of need and support and help them in the best way I can because sometimes all individuals want is somebody to be there for them.
thumb_up_off_alt 0 like thumb_down_off_alt 0 dislike
more_vert
I think, I would be there to listen without a word hear him/her out why he's in trouble. Unless, I'm a 'shrink' or trustworthy friend to whom he/she came to me for answers and help strategize his/her next move.
thumb_up_off_alt 0 like thumb_down_off_alt 0 dislike
more_vert
It's important to note that every situation is unique, and the appropriate response would depend on the specific circumstances and the preferences and needs of the individuals involved. Being a supportive friend means being there in the best way possible, respecting boundaries, and offering assistance and empathy without imposing one's own solutions or judgments.
thumb_up_off_alt 0 like thumb_down_off_alt 0 dislike
more_vert
try to determine the nature of the problem. If your friend only needs money for any capricious purposes, then I don't think it's wise to enable your friend for it. If it's an emotional or psychological problem, being there and empathizing with your friend is more helpful than giving unsolicited advices.
thumb_up_off_alt 0 like thumb_down_off_alt 0 dislike
Whenever you have a question in your mind, just drop it on Answeree. Help our community grow.
...