asked in Love+Relationships by (653 points) 1 4 28
replied by LEGEND (6,076 points) 6 9 22
There must be something that they are getting from the extra marital affair that they don't get from their partners. Most times it could be sex, money, or just mere seeking for fantasy.
replied by LEGEND (6,006 points) 5 9 19
Other times the love isn't there anymore and instead of trying to fix it and rekindle old flames, they go outside to please themselves. 
replied by ELITE (3,548 points) 3 7 11
Some people are actually just never satisfied with their marriage in general and it makes them to sleep around and cheat.

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9 Answers

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answered by LEGEND (6,006 points) 5 9 19
There are different reasons people get married. It is not the conventional love story and companionship for everyone. People get married for money, security, escape, freedom, lust, desire, love etc

Most times when people cheat, they are looking for something that isn't in their partners. Something they love and need. There's really no excuse for cheating though but that's the way it is. 

Marrying for the wrong reasons. Other times It is bliss and the beginning and something goes wrong. The couple aren't smart enough to work through it and cheating sets in. 
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answered by LEGEND (7,490 points) 4 15 39
Many times when this happens it is because they have an arranged marriage and they need to get married. There are some guys that just don't want to be married and have many affairs and just don't want to settle down. But in some cases, they are forced to by the family because this is their religion or just how it works. They accept the arrange and get married, but in their mind, heart, and soul, they just can be happy with one woman so they have affairs during the marriage.

While other men will fall in love with a woman and want to get married. They want to settle down, but it is hard on them. At first, they don't have an affair, but in the back of their minds, they keep thinking about it. Then one day it just happens. The cycle starts again and they can't stop it. They enjoy and love their wife, but they feel a need to be with other women. 
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answered by Patron (1,828 points) 2 6 15
Why do people get married? They get married because they feel they are meant for each other. That's the reason everybody has, but i think people marry so that they are not alone, or for companionship, others for security, others for convenience, others for material purposes, others for status, others marry so that they can fulfill their sexual desires, others marry so that they cannot be ridiculed by the society, others marry for babies. So as you can see there are many reasons why people get married and am sure there are many more this is just but to mention a few. When people are about to tie the note they are usually asked to go for marriage counselling which is usually for their own good but people ignore this exercise because they feel they don't need it. That is why marriages are falling apart with people getting into extra marital affairs hoping to get what they are not getting from their spouses. Marrying for the wrong reasons is what is bringing about infidelity in marriages. When you know why you are getting married, extra marital affairs won't be a coversation you will have to hold in your family because there will be no reason for you to go out. 
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answered by ELITE (4,052 points) 5 13 41
I think sometimes it just doesn't work out the way they think it will. Dating someone and spending every day with them are quite separate things which is why some people choose to live together before committing to marriage. At least if it doesn't work out it doesn't end in a messy divorce.

I think some people miss the excitement of being able to date other people when they get married. They feel it is very final and long for the days when they could please themselves when they weren't tied to the routine of a domestic life. Maybe they got married too young, perhaps because the woman was pregnant, and feel they have missed out on dating other people.

Or maybe they just weren't right for each other in the first place but carried on with the wedding because everything had been arranged and they were too afraid to cancel the arrangements. It's sad but it happens and one or both partners later find a more suitable partner.
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answered by VISIONARY (9,003 points) 6 10 19
This is a million dollars question, I usually ponder on this question because my own blood,my dear cousin cheats on the wife daily and you wonder what is going on in the world.

I solely attribute it to greed  they just want to eat their cake and still have it back, married but still behaving the same way when they were single  no decorum no sense of responsibility.

The people in this category have insatiable urge and they go get whatever it is the reason for their extra affairs. Some go for material gains, some for sex and some just for the fun of it.

They forget  the trauma the other person will go through because they are selfish and self centered and wouldn't even mind ruining the marrisge.
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answered by LEGEND (6,391 points) 5 10 21
Being with one person everyday, every month, every year is very boring. People especially men need change to reduce monotony possibly. Marrying other person will lead to issues and mostly increased budget and etceteras. Men love their wives because they belong to them permanently unlike other women who just need benefits/ favours which most of the times is cash. Besides, a good number of men don't love marrying second wives because they might end up destroying their marriage with their first wives.

Also, some women are just stubborn and its always their joy causing scandals in marriages. They'll do everything to seduce the men into having some relationship with them. As a woman, its good to play cool as long as you don't see all the stuff happening.
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answered by ELITE (3,091 points) 2 6 11
This is a very important question that every yet to marry youths is suppose to ask by conscience and debate on in reality. Marriage is actually suppose to be a binding union between two person in body, flesh and soul but today many couples defy their marital vows and I start to wonder why.
The answer is so simple, some of the reason is due to llack of sincere courtship. Many couples ccouldn't live in each others reality while courting and they both decided to go by the way if pretense just to promote what they define as peace. And after marriage the reality starts to ask questions and all they could do is to find solace outside.

Another reason is due to carelessness, many couples after marriage do not longer care about each others feelings and start to neglect responsibility and many more. Some women will even start to wear old and shabby dresses just because they are married.

Also importantly, compatibility is very important ffactor two people usually take for granted, a short man who desires tall and black woman as spouse and also a tall lady who desired a tall man as spouse and th3 decides to pick opposite just for unreasonable reason, might only take grace if God not to cheat.

I don't want to go into forcing factor of choice in Africa. However, it takes only the grace of God to be faithful.
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answered by ELITE (3,008 points) 2 6 13
There are series of reasons that leads both married men and women to engage in extra marital affairs. In my opinion they are :

Lack of compatibility,  there are some couples who do not really engaged in courtship relationship at least to know few basic things about them selves until they get married, if they find it difficult to manage there differences they sort the problem by engaging on extra marital effairs..

Religion restrictions,  there some people both men and women that requires much of sexual intimacy especially men,  in a situation where a woman can not satisfied his partner or does not posses the much energy or strength needed to satisfy him on bed and his religion does not permit him to marry more one wife then he opt for extra marital affairs.
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answered by ELITE (3,548 points) 3 7 11
Marriage is supposed to be something taken very seriously by anyone who took the decision to get married and settle down with his or her life partner but with it's not what we witness now with how most married people treat their marriage vows. It's like the ones that are married are more into the act of having extra curricula affair out of wedlock and I keep asking myself why they would choose such kind of lifestyle when they are married.


I believe that nobody is under a must to get married, although some parents are guilty of this act by forcing their children to marry when they are not ready and also to who they are not in love with. More than 80 percent of married people who cheat on their partner do so as a result of not being in love with whom they are married to.

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