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I experienced some marital problems in recent years, but we are ok now. While our marriage was in shambles, I didn't know whom to approach. Eventually, I approached closed loved ones who are separated, a single person who has no boyfriend, and a mother who is opposed to my marriage right from day 1. 

However, as I come close to them more, seems like their advice is gearing toward the lifestyle they currently have, which made me all the more confused. But I will have none of it. So, I decided to separate myself from them. 

My husband and I are doing well now and we are trying to sort out our marriage by ourselves instead. 

What kind of people should I consider when seeking advice from them? Why?

16 Answers

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  1. Advise with permission
  2. Give them a rant window
  3. Be honest
  4. Avoid judging
  5. Make it a collaboration
  6. Offer long term support
  7. Don't make promises
  8. Recommend a read
  9. Say it from the heart
  10. Make plan
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Thank you for your answer. They are brief and concise. Do you have an article for this?
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A person you can trust, who won't judge you, and will give their honest opinion pointing out the pros and cons also helping you in making the right decision by supporting you and standing by you're side.
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There are so many ways to get advice. One thing for sure, these are people who you trust the most in your life. We can ask advice anonymously when using hotline numbers that deal with this kind of marriage problem. For some people, they seek the service of a marriage counselor.
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We must choose a person to give advice to us those who are mature enough who passed every experiences that is alike what we are going through.
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It is always said that not everyone is happy with what you have and sometimes you can trust people with your problems only to realize that they want the worst for you. I even experd that and I distanced mys3from such folks and live a good life with my family. 
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Ask them that are reasonably intelligent, have zero interest in what you do (or them that barely know you), and wherever possible, them that had success in the area you failed. Also be careful how you word the question. 'Loaded questions' are easy for most to spot, and tells people you are not asking for advice...but confirmation that what you have already decided to do is correct.
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when asking another person for advice i would firstly consider my own feelings first and how they would make me feel if the answer to my advice was not what i wanted to hear there are many things to consider on this one u have to trust the person for a start 
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The most important thing to look out for before asking or seeking for advice from someone is the person lifestyle, and if they are doing well in the area you want to ask.
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It would depend on the nature of you dilemma. I had a friend who went through the same thing, but his husband was really, really bad news. I don't want to get in to it. Anyway, she came to me for help because I separated from my husband (he now has a new family). I think talking to me gave her the confidence to do what she needed to know. As for myself, I usually seek advice from those I completely trust. If it's a specific problem, for example, a work problem, I would seek advice from my boss or another trusted colleague. If it's a health issue, I tend to ask people who has had the same issues.
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When ever I want to ask someone for advice first I check your character and behavior then I have to know if you are a positive person or not those are the things I will check.
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First of all, I ask advice from a person that is very close to me and I feel that he is reliable. No one wants to share thoughts on a judgemental person right? I love to share my problems with a person that has more humor than me. Not only he gave me advice, we'll have fun chatting too.
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Always consider people who have you in heart, people who listen and care about you. Consider people are doing well and well experienced in the area or aspect you are seeking help. For example if you need professional help in finance, you need to meet a finance expert as well as in the aspect of relationship.
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Before I ask any advice from person I have to check their maturity level, whether they are successful and their line of professional 
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Some people might want to know if they should break up with their husband or wife over something that isn't a marriage issue. Others might want to know if they should be able to stay in the marriage or if there are other issues that need to be addressed.
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However, as I come close to them more, seems like their advice is gearing toward the lifestyle they currently have, which made me all the more confused. But I will have none of it. So, I decided to separate myself from them. 
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Seeking advice from people is not really bad but it is important we seek from the right person people that are good example honest people and people of integrity
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