asked in Love+Relationships by (124 points) 1 7 17
Hi friends.

There is a story that i know about a man having a relationship to a girl for a longtime and not even know the wife.

The girl shared his problems about it and she said to a man that i know your married and i dont want that your damily be destroyed and please stop me and stop me because there is no good and ypur married.The man said to her no i love you and i want you and marry you.And because no one knows it for long time and one day it revealed it.The wife is angry  to a woman and to a his husband.and some of her friends wife angry to a woman.The woman dont qant to destroy the family because he is a married man  and i dont understand the situation .who will be blame??
replied by ELITE (3,663 points) 7 14 56
A man should not love another woman aside from his wife or else he is already cheating, otherwise he should be honest and get out from the marriage if he don't want to stay in it.

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13 Answers

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answered by (843 points) 1 4 12
Sometimes it happens. A man's heart maybe somewhere else and yet he is married. This may happen if he rushed to marry without knowing what his heart desires, either he was forced to marry the woman he didn't like, either the woman he married started behaving weirdly or maybe the man is naturally a womanizer. If any of the possibility happen then the man will fall in love with another woman.
replied by ELITE (3,009 points) 3 8 16
That is true but some people are naturally flirt,  despite that they love and respect their wives they just can't stop loving other ladies or women. 
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answered by ELITE (4,082 points) 7 26 72
To be fair there is blame on both sides, the woman knows that he is married so should leave well alone and the man knows he shouldn't cheat on his wife but neither is doing anything to stop the affair. It's very hard on the wife and neither are considering her feelings enough to stop.

However, sometimes feelings are so strong that it's hard to finish an affair. I have known men who have left their wives even though everyone is against them and they have made a success of their new relationship. Maybe they married the wrong person in the first place but if there are children involved this man should think long and hard about what he wants. If he decides to leave his wife he should make sure she or any children are well provided for.

When it comes to blame it's hard to say who was most at fault without knowing the full story. Maybe the wife didn't treat her husband fairly but for whatever reason he is cheating he should think carefully about what he is doing and what it could mean for the future.
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answered by LEGEND (6,404 points) 6 13 36
I blame side kick (the other woman) who wants to destroy this marriage.There are lots of men in this world and I don't see the essence of trying to destroy someone's marriage and maybe they've got kids.She actually has to be hard and deny the man's proposal.The real wife to the man also should not give the husband some space.She's to struggle and fight for her love back.Else, she can play the don't care game and the man will start having doubts and they'll take this opportunity to solve their disputes.
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answered by VISIONARY (9,071 points) 5 21 51
In the beginning, the man more than likely didn't tell her he was married. As the relationship grew she found out he was married and from what you've said, she tried to break this off. It seems that this affair has gone on for some time now and it is hard on this man to just walk away and go back to his wife. He has now fallen in love with her and wants to marry her. 

Sooner or later the wife is bound to find out about this affair and of course, she is going to be angry. Angry isn't the only feeling she is feeling right now. She is hurt, feels betrayed, and thinks that she has been very stupid for not realizing this affair has been going on for some time now. I think she is feeling kind of stupid and most of all hurt.

I can see how she is angry and is blaming both parties for this betrayal. When the woman found out he was married she should have called it off. I know it is hard and she might love him, but nothing good will come of this in the end. Furthermore, when this woman tried to call off the affair and he refused to let this happen he is as much to blame as she is. 

He should have stopped seeing her until he could work out an arrangement with this wife and get a divorce. If the two of them still cared for each other they would wait until the marriage had ended to continue their relationship. I blame them both for not thinking this out and not stop seeing each other when the woman asked him to stop the affair so he didn't hurt his wife.  
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answered by LEGEND (6,021 points) 6 13 26
Both of them are to be blamed. If it isn't okay for a man to go and be with someone else other than his wife, why should the lady continue giving him a listening ear. It could have been different if she didn't know all along that he was married. This is not the case, she found out and she let the gullible side of her get the better part of the situation. 

The man was totally wrong for going after another woman. There Is really no excuse for cheating even if the wife is the worst. A man like that must first try to settle things with his wife of They aren't going well and if irreconcilable, dissolve the marriage before making such a move. It is so unfair to put his wife in such state.
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answered by LEGEND (6,086 points) 3 27 50
Blame the two person, the husband and the other woman because they started a relationship that is against the bible. They are both weak. The husband should not do this to her wife, regardless that they have big problems in their relationship. The two of them should talk about it because they are building the family. It would be worst if they have children. They should talk about it before they ruin their relationship and perfect family. The other woman is not thinking about her reputation though. Even though true love exist in an unwanted relationship and even if the true happiness is existing, she should be thinking about her future with that man. Can she stomach that fact that she is happy but she is hurting the legal wife? The other woman is always humiliating and some people will judge them. For sure she will be belittle by the people and it will affect her family as well. If is humiliating. They should stop it, or they will face the consequence. They will look dirty in the eyes of public and forever be judge. I hope girls or woman will not do it to ruin a family.
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answered by ELITE (3,054 points) 8 35 66
Both of them are at fault. The man no longer loves his wife but instead of coming to terms with her, he resorted to cheating, which only made things worse. On the other hand, you said that the woman, perhaps after eventually knowing that the man is already married, realized that it is wrong to be having a relationship with this man yet she continued to do so. I do recognize her effort of trying to make sense with the guy but eventually her emotions got the better of her.

Although they both may have their reasons for not being brave enough to stop their affair, I think that they were just way too selfish. I cannot even imagine the pain the wife has gone through.
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answered by VISIONARY (9,009 points) 7 16 67
I can't blamed any other person than the man,any man that leaves the wife to start having an affair with another woman outside his matrimonial home should be given all the blames if things goes wrong in his marriage.

The Lady or mistress outside never took an oath to be faithful and love the wife inside the house but the man,so if there's a break down in the marriage the man that took the oath to be faithful and has refused to be faithful by having an affair outside should be held responsible.

The Earlier men are held to face the music of their offence the better things will be .How can a man love another woman outside the home than his wife?.
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answered by LEGEND (6,082 points) 7 21 49
It is very possible for a man to love another woman that is not his wife. Let's not forget in a hurry that a thing like this is not strange among us. We have seen countless number of cases like this as well as the woman falling in love with another man too that is not her husband. Like I have always said that there is something missing in the life of such a man/woman that they are gaining from the person outside.

In consideration of the situation you mentioned. For me the man is not to be blamed neither is it the outside girl. The man loving the outside girl could be attributed to one basic reason. It could be that there is something he is not getting from his wife that he is getting from the girl which makes him to love her than his wife.

On the part of the girl considering the situation on ground about the man's marital status was very wise of her. But if the man offered to marry her on the basis he's going to divorce his wife because he loves her more than her, and she feels she loves the man too, I don't see the reason why they can't work things out in this regard. Mind you love don't respect anybody whether you're married or not.
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answered by ELITE (3,094 points) 3 6 14
There is a film I washed which I trust we can learn from. A man just packed in to a new apartment and a neighbor of his introduced her self to him. The neighbor is a married woman but her husband is a very busy man who hardly stays at home. So she is always lonely even without kid. Suddenly she started bringing food to the young guy and they both became friends. Her husband knew about it and never said anything.

It went on and on till the young guy later got married and they had two children. The woman never stop bringing food for the guy and his wife and even when the guy's wife rejects her husband will get angry and they kept having issues.

Most times the madam prefers to go to work in this guy's car and most times redresses the guy before he enters into the car. The wife was boiling but nothing to do since her hubby enjoys it.

Many times the madam wears seductive dresses to their flat and flap her big back to attract the man. It went on till when the wife couldn't bear it any longer and she sort advice from a cousin who is a psychologist and she told her the woman is sick.

It was until then that the woman stopped being jealous since her jealousy has earned her deep slap from her husband in the past. So she sat her husband down and tell him what the cousin said. And she gave the husband conditions to either continued to like her or tell her husband his wife needs help.

Her husband oblige and actually narrated everything to madams husband but madam's husband picked offence the moment the guy said his wife is sick and she need help. He sent him away.

So the next day, the madam cooked food and brought it. But the wife rejected it that she had cooked already and her hubby is not around. Then, madam left in hanger and stood by the window and started hearing the conversation between the wife and her husband in deep dispute.

Just to cut the lon story short, the madam later got help and cure. And the wife later got to know that her husband wasn't liking the madam rather avoiding her to misbehaviour just has she did the first day he rejected her food even before he got married.

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