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Hi friends.

There is a story that i know about a man having a relationship to a girl for a longtime and not even know the wife.

The girl shared his problems about it and she said to a man that i know your married and i dont want that your damily be destroyed and please stop me and stop me because there is no good and ypur married.The man said to her no i love you and i want you and marry you.And because no one knows it for long time and one day it revealed it.The wife is angry  to a woman and to a his husband.and some of her friends wife angry to a woman.The woman dont qant to destroy the family because he is a married man  and i dont understand the situation .who will be blame??
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A man should not love another woman aside from his wife or else he is already cheating, otherwise he should be honest and get out from the marriage if he don't want to stay in it.

32 Answers

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Sometimes it happens. A man's heart maybe somewhere else and yet he is married. This may happen if he rushed to marry without knowing what his heart desires, either he was forced to marry the woman he didn't like, either the woman he married started behaving weirdly or maybe the man is naturally a womanizer. If any of the possibility happen then the man will fall in love with another woman.
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That is true but some people are naturally flirt,  despite that they love and respect their wives they just can't stop loving other ladies or women. 
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I agree with your reason, but if this situation occurs he must open up to his wife and confess her because if she comes to get it from someone else it would make her broken into a million picies.
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I share your point of view,infact I think we agree on this,am glad you see things this way because it is indeed the best.
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To be fair there is blame on both sides, the woman knows that he is married so should leave well alone and the man knows he shouldn't cheat on his wife but neither is doing anything to stop the affair. It's very hard on the wife and neither are considering her feelings enough to stop.

However, sometimes feelings are so strong that it's hard to finish an affair. I have known men who have left their wives even though everyone is against them and they have made a success of their new relationship. Maybe they married the wrong person in the first place but if there are children involved this man should think long and hard about what he wants. If he decides to leave his wife he should make sure she or any children are well provided for.

When it comes to blame it's hard to say who was most at fault without knowing the full story. Maybe the wife didn't treat her husband fairly but for whatever reason he is cheating he should think carefully about what he is doing and what it could mean for the future.
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Generally your idea is quite wise and eligible for stimulating good thinking and the right mindset keep it up.
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I blame side kick (the other woman) who wants to destroy this marriage.There are lots of men in this world and I don't see the essence of trying to destroy someone's marriage and maybe they've got kids.She actually has to be hard and deny the man's proposal.The real wife to the man also should not give the husband some space.She's to struggle and fight for her love back.Else, she can play the don't care game and the man will start having doubts and they'll take this opportunity to solve their disputes.
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Obviously we have no choice not to because at the end of the day it's best for us,we have to be able to stand up for what is right.
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Me too because she's ruining their relationship and destroying someone's marital life is a sin.
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In the beginning, the man more than likely didn't tell her he was married. As the relationship grew she found out he was married and from what you've said, she tried to break this off. It seems that this affair has gone on for some time now and it is hard on this man to just walk away and go back to his wife. He has now fallen in love with her and wants to marry her. 

Sooner or later the wife is bound to find out about this affair and of course, she is going to be angry. Angry isn't the only feeling she is feeling right now. She is hurt, feels betrayed, and thinks that she has been very stupid for not realizing this affair has been going on for some time now. I think she is feeling kind of stupid and most of all hurt.

I can see how she is angry and is blaming both parties for this betrayal. When the woman found out he was married she should have called it off. I know it is hard and she might love him, but nothing good will come of this in the end. Furthermore, when this woman tried to call off the affair and he refused to let this happen he is as much to blame as she is. 

He should have stopped seeing her until he could work out an arrangement with this wife and get a divorce. If the two of them still cared for each other they would wait until the marriage had ended to continue their relationship. I blame them both for not thinking this out and not stop seeing each other when the woman asked him to stop the affair so he didn't hurt his wife.  
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This quite a positive mindset and perspective it will change people's way of thinking because you are quite optimistic.
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Both of them are to be blamed. If it isn't okay for a man to go and be with someone else other than his wife, why should the lady continue giving him a listening ear. It could have been different if she didn't know all along that he was married. This is not the case, she found out and she let the gullible side of her get the better part of the situation. 

The man was totally wrong for going after another woman. There Is really no excuse for cheating even if the wife is the worst. A man like that must first try to settle things with his wife of They aren't going well and if irreconcilable, dissolve the marriage before making such a move. It is so unfair to put his wife in such state.
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Basically this point of view is very very legit and understandable let's hope people can take it in the right way.
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Blame the two person, the husband and the other woman because they started a relationship that is against the bible. They are both weak. The husband should not do this to her wife, regardless that they have big problems in their relationship. The two of them should talk about it because they are building the family. It would be worst if they have children. They should talk about it before they ruin their relationship and perfect family. The other woman is not thinking about her reputation though. Even though true love exist in an unwanted relationship and even if the true happiness is existing, she should be thinking about her future with that man. Can she stomach that fact that she is happy but she is hurting the legal wife? The other woman is always humiliating and some people will judge them. For sure she will be belittle by the people and it will affect her family as well. If is humiliating. They should stop it, or they will face the consequence. They will look dirty in the eyes of public and forever be judge. I hope girls or woman will not do it to ruin a family.
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Generally convincing and understandable I am now seeing things in a different point of view after reading this answer.
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Both of them are at fault. The man no longer loves his wife but instead of coming to terms with her, he resorted to cheating, which only made things worse. On the other hand, you said that the woman, perhaps after eventually knowing that the man is already married, realized that it is wrong to be having a relationship with this man yet she continued to do so. I do recognize her effort of trying to make sense with the guy but eventually her emotions got the better of her.

Although they both may have their reasons for not being brave enough to stop their affair, I think that they were just way too selfish. I cannot even imagine the pain the wife has gone through.
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Enlighting one another and sharing of adequate information is what we are all there for, i find you to be quite enlightening on this matter.
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I can't blamed any other person than the man,any man that leaves the wife to start having an affair with another woman outside his matrimonial home should be given all the blames if things goes wrong in his marriage.

The Lady or mistress outside never took an oath to be faithful and love the wife inside the house but the man,so if there's a break down in the marriage the man that took the oath to be faithful and has refused to be faithful by having an affair outside should be held responsible.

The Earlier men are held to face the music of their offence the better things will be .How can a man love another woman outside the home than his wife?.
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You are very wise and understanding,I like your point of view on the Matter at hand and you have enlightened me.
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It is very possible for a man to love another woman that is not his wife. Let's not forget in a hurry that a thing like this is not strange among us. We have seen countless number of cases like this as well as the woman falling in love with another man too that is not her husband. Like I have always said that there is something missing in the life of such a man/woman that they are gaining from the person outside.

In consideration of the situation you mentioned. For me the man is not to be blamed neither is it the outside girl. The man loving the outside girl could be attributed to one basic reason. It could be that there is something he is not getting from his wife that he is getting from the girl which makes him to love her than his wife.

On the part of the girl considering the situation on ground about the man's marital status was very wise of her. But if the man offered to marry her on the basis he's going to divorce his wife because he loves her more than her, and she feels she loves the man too, I don't see the reason why they can't work things out in this regard. Mind you love don't respect anybody whether you're married or not.
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As of now and so on I will consider these logistics as to be very legit and wise to aim on better outcomes for the question asked above.
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There is a film I washed which I trust we can learn from. A man just packed in to a new apartment and a neighbor of his introduced her self to him. The neighbor is a married woman but her husband is a very busy man who hardly stays at home. So she is always lonely even without kid. Suddenly she started bringing food to the young guy and they both became friends. Her husband knew about it and never said anything.

It went on and on till the young guy later got married and they had two children. The woman never stop bringing food for the guy and his wife and even when the guy's wife rejects her husband will get angry and they kept having issues.

Most times the madam prefers to go to work in this guy's car and most times redresses the guy before he enters into the car. The wife was boiling but nothing to do since her hubby enjoys it.

Many times the madam wears seductive dresses to their flat and flap her big back to attract the man. It went on till when the wife couldn't bear it any longer and she sort advice from a cousin who is a psychologist and she told her the woman is sick.

It was until then that the woman stopped being jealous since her jealousy has earned her deep slap from her husband in the past. So she sat her husband down and tell him what the cousin said. And she gave the husband conditions to either continued to like her or tell her husband his wife needs help.

Her husband oblige and actually narrated everything to madams husband but madam's husband picked offence the moment the guy said his wife is sick and she need help. He sent him away.

So the next day, the madam cooked food and brought it. But the wife rejected it that she had cooked already and her hubby is not around. Then, madam left in hanger and stood by the window and started hearing the conversation between the wife and her husband in deep dispute.

Just to cut the lon story short, the madam later got help and cure. And the wife later got to know that her husband wasn't liking the madam rather avoiding her to misbehaviour just has she did the first day he rejected her food even before he got married.
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Highly true and justifyable I made some research of my own and found this to be quite reliable.
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Any man who keeps another woman after being married is a dog and a cheat. He doesn't deserve the love, care and affection his married wife is giving to him because his body present in his family but absent minded with his mistress who he probably shows more love, romance, care and affection than he does for his married wife. Some men makes feel like it's wrong to be a man by their inability to control their sexual urges because it's the main reason why most men look for other women out there to show fake love all in the quest to have sex with these women. What annoys me most is the some of these girls or women are well aware that these men are already married with their own family, they still open themselves up to get intimate with married men.
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If anyone is looking for an answer to this question I mean why not just look at it from this perspective it is quite wise.
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I believe in saying that, if you love the second time aside from your wife, you better let go of your wife because you will never fall in love with another woman if you really love your wife. And until now a lot of men or women even they are married, they can still fall out of love with their partners and fall in love with another. This is something that we seriously need to think of, it is not easy to stay in love in a relationship. But, you can choose to fall in love  again with your husband or wife if you think you fall out of love. I am a wife, and I know sometimes I feel I don't love my husband anymore because he doesn't treat me exactly what's a woman should be treated. But, because we have children, I choose to stay and keep looking for something to fall in love again. There is nothing wrong with falling in love many times with your husband or wife.
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This message Is quite clear and deeply thought through I believe it is a way forward for all.
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This is absolutely wrong. it is evident that this behavor is escallating every other day. it's just not right. when two people make vows to each other to be together for always and to never let anything or anyone put them assunder, why then would you let someone from some other place to come between us? Sometimes it's hard to comprehend why men would not tell ladies that they are married. this is for obvious reasons just so they can have their way, beneifit from innocent souls. We all know for a fact that when men get married they will never leave their wives for you, so the earlier we get that in our heads the better. Yes there may have a genuine reason to love you, but it all boils down to morals, and discipline. this is a decision that can only be made by the two. If you have a conscience, you will let it slide but if you don't you will fall into his trap for sure and that will have dire consequences on you which will get you frustrated in the long run.
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Wonderfully presented and am sure it is based on a high level of research and understanding from you as an individual.
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A man can love another woman than wife. The woman is his mother. Man first inspiration and love is his mother. 

Mother, wife, friends are more important in mens life.
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Important and ver reasonable information that should be considered when trying to understand this topic/question.
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The man is disgusting and is beyond reproach. He has taken advantage of two women that love/loved this greedy man.

Both women should run and stay away from him.
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Brilliant facts now I understand even more this is quite outstanding,this is a brilliant consecutive idea to the question at hand. 
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A man should love his wife more, if it is the opposite then there is a problem. That means there is a problem with the relationship that needs to be sorted out, what has brought about the drop in affection has to be checked, is the fault from the man or the woman.
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He is considered a player then. I am feel bad for his wife and children. If he cannot able to control himself, then the marriage will surely fall apart. As soon as possible, he needs to stay away from another woman. Well, he chooses to be with her, then it is better to end the marriage.
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So true, but even after such a bad reputation these men have the courage to defend themself and justify themself right. This type of behavior is some shameless.
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I find this information quite useful, indeed I share your point of view and I understand you,this is quite reasonable.
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If the man is married, he  committed adultery which is not good and this is a hurtful thing to do to the wife. He should maintain the sanctity of his marriage. 
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So true, every marriage life has some ups and downs, they are some dark days but after every darkness there is light, No man should take a rapid decision and forget all his vows of marriage in any situation.
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This is very useful information with accuracy,I find this information quite outstanding and relatively important.
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I think the best thing to do is to choose one by doing this you are being honest to yourself and it will help you alot with your mental isues whereby you will be at peace with yourself.
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We don't know exactly what is the type of life between that man and his wife,and we don't know if they were forced to get married to satisfy their families.

No one know what is inside the house and what is their problems .we can look at it from different sides 

1)maybe the woman is not taking care of her man and ignore herself and ignore him,so he went out to search for other woman to compensate him.

2) maybe the man don't love her from the begining and he was forced by his family to marry her.

3)maybe they are both the reason for this.

4)for the other woman he loved maybe she was the woman he want to marry long time ago ,we can't blame her if she don't want to destroy his family and refuse to get into a relationship with him.

Anyway he will search for other woman because this will not solve his problem between him and his wife.
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