Relationship with a middle aged man can spoil your life? - Answeree
I am 21 years old girl, and I like a person who is very generous and caring for me. I like his character and he understand me well. But the problem is he is 45. Your opinion please. 
in Love+Relationships by
If you are not in a rush to get married, I would advise you to decline the proposal. He is quite old for your age but if you are very confident and convinced he loves you, then you can marry him. Being old doesn't mean he would ruin your life.
To me, the age gap is not arbitrary. But my concern is; if you love him or just his generosity. Try to search through your heart if what you actually desire and take decision.

9 Answers

0 votes
Probably he's your sugar daddy. Honestly you're ruining your life. The man is more than twice your age. Despite of him being kind and generous, the effects with be tremendous.That man is quite old to be your dad. Besides there are certain things you cannot do with the man compared to when you're dating someone of your age.

I think the best way out is talk to the man and how you feel about the relationship and you wouldn't want to go on. Try suggesting whether you can try friendship, if he accepts and continue being generous to you then he's truly a nice person.

This man will just waste your time because am pretty sure at 45 years he's got kids as well and maybe a wife but they divorced. You continue hanging out with him and you might end up missing someone of your age.
by 6 19 43
You have some point, but age doesn't matter at this generation, whe ypu fall in love it's not by what age the person is.
0 votes
As you are asking this question I think you must be having doubts about your relationship with this man. It's good that he treats you well and is a nice person but from experience I can tell you that the age gap will come between you later if you are having doubts now.

I have dated men who were younger than me and although they were fine at the beginning the age gap did make a difference in the end. I had memories of things gone by that they had no knowledge of, listened to music of bands they had never heard of, people would point out that I looked older than them. It was uncomfortable at times. I am now in a relationship with a man my own age and it is so much easier.

However there are relationships which defy all the odds and work out if the people involved truly love each other but you need to be sure. If you think you can make this work then go for it but if you're not sure then really think about it as you could both end up being hurt.
by 8 35 85
It is true age gap will amtte rin the end if two people dont love each other genuinely. There may be other people will judge ypu but if the relationship is genuine and true, there must be no problem.
0 votes
When it comes to relationships, there are few basic factors that you will always have in mind and they are:

Understanding: No matter how good a person is when it comes to matters of the heart, as long as they are unable to understand you as a person, then such relationship is one that I won't advise you go into. I understand that he is far older than you, but you should put the understanding factor into consideration as well when deciding what you want.

Love: The relationship should not ruin you if you are sure that he is truly in love with you. One thing about love is that people can never force it and you get to know about true love when they have dated for a longer period of time and still have the love in them. So, check how much he loves you before deciding what to do next.

Also, there are other good points such as how he reacts when annoyed as well as how financially okay he is, but the above two that I mentioned are something that you should be serious about when thinking of this man.
by 4 15 34
Indeed! understanding, love and acceptance and also patient for the relationship will last forever.
0 votes
As the usually say age is just  a number which I also think so.Marrying a younger man or an older man has never made anyone frustrated but the character of the person.

All what you should concentrate more is compatibility and not the age.An old can still be caring,compassionate, loving and a great giver  which you might not get  same from a younger man, why because one can only give out what he has and not because of the age.

If you truly loved the man then give me a chance and morecer a 42 year old man isn't too old,he is still in his prime, his age won't be written on his fore head,you can help him be young at heart, body and soul if you wish.
by 8 27 83
I agree, the character of a person you are going to be with is the matter, weither you get along or not.
0 votes
The age differences in this case is wide and may cause lots of problems in the relationship.  I will provide answers to this questions in two dimensions.
If he is just a sugar daddy then there is a possibility that you can roll with him with the hope that the relationship will only last for a while and this make you tolerate the differences between you both,  for sure you will enjoy the financial motivations if he has money and he will take care of you very well especially if you show him care and makes him like a young lover boy.
However,  if you want  to build a long time relationship with him which is marriage,  you must understand that :

Understanding: His level of comprehension may be more advanced more than yours and he may find it difficult to bear your childish behaviors you put up sometimes.
Life span : Though God know when any body will die but to an extent old people have higher chances to die faster,  in 30 years from now he may not be alive or not strong enough to satisfy your intimacy desires.
by 3 8 18
Exactly what I have thought, hif he is a sigar daddy then there are possibilities the relationship won't last. 
0 votes
Age is doesn't matter actually when it comes to real love. A person may be blind of age you are or what the difference between you to. But if you just want to be in a relationship to be spoil by your love, this is not a good sign either of real love. Real love is unconditional, both of you will give and take, either emotionally, physically and financially. To be in a relationship, your partner will spoil you of course with love, material things are just a bonus if he can afford to. Be with someone that will accept you for who you are and knows your intentions and wants. In return give the real love and affections, appreciation and understanding as well as genuine relationship. It takes a gut to stay in a relationship for so long if you don't accept each others likes and dislikes.
by 8 17 71
0 votes
Marriage and relationship matters are always complicated in ways that it would get you so confused that you wouldn't know exactly what to do and it gets very frustrating to the extent that you would be having anxiety problems and difficulty sleeping.

But my dear, I'm going to very honest with you, at 21 years old and getting married to someone who is at 45 years is pretty a long stretch in my opinion. He is twice your age with some few years off it as well. He is old enough but not too old to marry all things being equal.
What I would expect you to be would be to find out why he had to stay too long till the age of 45 year but yet to get married. Something might be wrong but I can't really say, so it's up to you to find out and if all things checks out well, then you can marry him if he truly loves.
by 5 36 116
0 votes
This is a matter of the heart and people will always have different perceptions based on their preferences and orientations. What is most important is how you feel deep inside about it regardless of what the world says.
You need to search yourself deeply if you are having any doubts whatsoever about it. Love is supposed to be unconditional and free of skepticism. Being generous alone to you shouldn't cut it. You need to be sure if such generosity is not based on what he's getting from you in return. That is, you ought to be sure that he loves you and you love him back.
Don't care so much about what people say if your intentions are both pure. Everyone has the right to love and age is not a barrier. Besides society doesn't really raise an eyebrow if the man is way older. So if you can be with him, why not?
by 6 14 34
0 votes
The age difference is very high. But the age doesn't matter in relationship. If he really cares you, you can marry him. But you should think of your future. Now the average life of humans is around 60 years. So please don't be rush. Take 2 or 3 years to decide. You are just 21 right. 
by 3 8 17
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