asked in Love+Relationships by
I'm in love with him but he sees me only as a friend. What should I do?
replied by ELITE (3,642 points) 6 8 14
It hurts when someone you love doesn't love you the same. But, you have to accept that if you really love that person.
replied by ELITE (3,548 points) 3 7 11
My advice for you is to not kill yourself over any man because it's not worth it. 

You're the lady here and it's the man who is supposed crave you more and not the other way around.

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14 Answers

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answered by ELITE (4,052 points) 5 13 41
It's so painful to be in this position and I think most of us experience this at some time in our lives.  Sometimes things change and two friends can be romantically involved but it's not always the way.

There are two roads you can go down here. You can tell him but if he really doesn't feel the same way it might spoil your friendship or you can accept things the way they are and keep him as a good friend although if this is too hard perhaps you should see less of him. There's rarely an easy answer to this kind of problem.  However there is always the chance that he might start to look at you in a different light so you might think it is worth the risk.

In time you will probably meet someone else, someone who will care for you in the way you deserve, but don't give up because sometimes life takes strange twists and turns and there could be something waiting for you around the corner that will change your life forever.
replied by ELITE (3,548 points) 3 7 11
If the guys opens up and tells her that he doesn't feel the same way she does for him in all honesty, then I have absolutely nothing against him.

It's never a must that you would love who loved you. 
1 thanks
answered by LEGEND (6,391 points) 5 10 21
This is a very hard question in deed. What I think you should do is, open up. Tell him how you feel about him but don't propose anything whether you want a dating/ courtship with him. Let him also air out his thoughts and from there you can decide on the next step. In case he's feelings for you as well, then you can go ahead and try suggesting a date with him. If he doesn't seem interested then you have to back off.

Love isn't something that you can force because in the long run you're the one who will be hurt. Also, you can try doing creepy things like flirting with other men, only if you're some sort of that. If he gets jealous, there you go, you'd have won. You can take advantage of that situation and raise the topic.  You might find that the man isn't just ready for a relationship yet and would love hanging out with you for reasons best known to him. If he's that kind of a person then I'll advise you to let go of him because he will just be wasting your time.
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answered by LEGEND (6,078 points) 2 10 28
I am in that position right now. I have been loving a friend but he sees me as a friend. Sometimes I get used to the pain he is giving me. He cannot love me as he has a girlfriend and he really loves her. Her girlfriend and me are good friends from the time they started their relationship. My friend knows what I feel no matter how he deny. I haven't propose to him about what I feel but I know he knows based on my treatment for him. I really don't want to tell it though it is really painful. i rather keep it a secret. He sees me as a friend and it would only cause trouble to his relationship. If I ruin their relationship, I will lose him for sure. He will choose his girlfriend too rather than me because his love is strong for her.
It depends on the situation if you will tell how you feel about your friend. If you think he likes you too, you can tell him, but if he is in a relationship don't be the one that will cause him headache.
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answered by LEGEND (7,490 points) 4 15 39
Sometimes long-term friendships are so hard and especially if one person falls deeply in love with the other person. You never know if this person has the same feeling for you or not. You know that he does love you in a way that is special, but not exactly what you were hoping for. It is hard for you to talk with him over all this and now he has a girlfriend it makes it even harder for you to talk with him. You don't want to ruin your friendship and at the same time, it is hard to be around him with the feeling you have inside.
I think your friend might also love you, but he is worried that if he loves you the way you love him it might destroy your friendship forever. You only have two basic choices to make in this situation. You can risk your friendship and tell him how you really feel about him. This might cause him to go away forever and not want to be a friend any longer. Or you can just keep going on like you are now and keep your friendship and not hurt anyone. No matter what your decision will be it hurts in the end. If you lost your friend because you told him how you feel or going on each day knowing that you love him and you can't tell him how you feel.
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answered by (150 points) 1 12

I'm no expert on relationships but it seems obvious that all good relationships are built on trust.  In a love relationship each person must know that they can give their heart completely and won't be crushed and regret it.  Speaking from another person's experience, sometimes men don't see what's right in front of them. smiley  My good friend was attracted to a guy.  She confronted him and spoke to him plainly about her feelings for him.  He also happened to be a good friend of mine and was so taken aback by her declaration he didn't know what to do.  He clearly liked her and wouldn't mind being in a relationship.  He just didn't dare approach her and didn't think she would be interested in him.  I'm like "Dude!  She just told you how she felt.  Why are you confused about how to respond to her?"  The end of their story is they've been married for about 40 years.  I don't know how your story will end.  There is such a thing as unrequited love, i.e. love that will never be returned.  But nobody is a mind reader.  So if you want to know you'll probably have to go the direct route and just tell the guy.

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answered by VISIONARY (9,003 points) 6 9 19
This is human nature and I always see it as a natural thing that we can still overcome.most things we crave for in life elude us and relationship isn't an exception. You're not alone and you may be surprised that he is also running after another that doesn't want him aas a lover but a friend and the circles continue.

You can't force friendship let alone love or a relationship. Don't get into what will keep you depress, because you will  just be frustrated if you try to force it.Take your mind off it ,yes it may not be easy but the truth is if you set your mind you will win.

So make up your mind to let go don't sweat it,it not worth the sweat.
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answered by ELITE (3,032 points) 5 20 40
It pains me to know that you are in that position right now. I cannot even imagine how hard it is for you to be with him while keeping your feelings to yourself. But I will get straight to the point and tell you that you need to be brave enough to confess. You'd rather take the shot that wonder all your life what could've happened had you told him how you feel. Take all the time you need to gather enough courage and articulate your thoughts. However, with confession comes several consequences so you also need to be prepared. You need to understand that it will also not be easy for him to decide on what he should do after you deliver your confession. Hence, do not overthink if he will not be able to respond immediately. If he doesn't feel the same way, things may get awkward for a time but have faith in your friendship. Time will heal all wounds and by then, you may start approaching each other again. Use that to strengthen the foundation of your friendship.

Now if he happens to be having the same feelings towards you, and he just doesn't show it, then that's good news.
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answered by LEGEND (6,076 points) 6 9 22
The situation you got here is a delicate one. I will suggest you play along with the beat he is dancing to. I believe you don't want to look too desperate all in a bid trying to get him. That is definitely not the right way to put your best foot forward as woman because if you do he might start to see you as cheap and inconsequential. Despite the fact you're in love with him you still have to exercise some self-control by holding back how you feel about him. It won't do your self-esteem any favour if you go ahead and break the ice. He might beginning to get into you gradually but maybe he is just waiting for the perfect time to let the cat out of the bag. Give him some time as you exercise patience hoping he will get the message that are down for him.
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answered by LEGEND (6,005 points) 5 9 19
Do not die in silence. Communicate your feelings with him. Even though it doesn't turn out as you would want it, your mind would be at peace knowing that you tried. Keeping it to yourself will only increase your worries by the day. Do not wait until its too late. I've seen good friends become such great lovers and live happy.
Perhaps he feels the same way about you but he's too shy or scared to admit it. Fear of rejection.Especially because you are friends. You should be bold and make the first move. Have a talk with him. If it does not work out, do not sulk because life happens. Just make sure that you don't ruin your friendship.
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answered by ELITE (3,210 points) 4 7 18
It doesn't require any magic formula and something special, just hit the nail straight on the head and tell him exactly how you feel about him..it's that simple.
On the other hand, i think I understand why you're relentin on expressing your feelings towards him. You probably think he doesn't feel the same way about you, romantically off course. This is probably one of the worst position a person can find theirselves emotionally stuck in. There's the fear of loosing your friendship if you eventually open up and the other doesn't share the same feeling with you. I'd probably not say a word about my feelings to the other person if it was me, but then I'd be emotionally draining myself. And the thought of seeing him with another person will only hurt the more. In order not to put yourself through such misery, i suggest you open up to him regardless of what the outcome might be. You never can tell, he just might have been nursing the same feelings as you.

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