asked in History+Politics+Society by LEGEND (6,078 points) 2 10 28
I have a friend and she is new in her job. She just found out last Monday that she is working with her long time enemy. That is very unfortunate, but she likes the job and she is seeing her future in that company. She ask my advise of what she needs to do. i really want to help her but I have never been in the situation. If you experience this one, i will appreciate dropping by your experience and please help my friend. 
replied by LEGEND (6,076 points) 6 9 22
There is nothing to be afraid of in working with an enemy. According Robert Green, working with an enemy is better than working with a friend, because working with an enemy would make you set your objectives aright without any form of sentiment. But with a friend, you would notice that there would be so many emotional issues that would be taking toll on the overall output of the business. 

But in a case whereby your enemy is trying to thwart your efforts, especially if he/she is your superior, you would have to seek the intervention of a higher authority. But if the enemy is on the same level with you as coworker, you have to keep her at arm length.
replied by (2 points) 3
If now she's not an enemy at work, then your friend does not have to care about the feeling stuff but focus on her job. Also, if the enemy does have impacted your friend and her career. Let's fire up then.

Here's some experience. 

1. Work harder.

Work harder and later. Beat deadlines and come up with her own projects. Be a model employee and offer help to other colleagues when she can. She won't want to have more enemies this time. Try to be nice to others when she can.

2. Get to know people as much as possible in her organization.

Never look down the power of relationship. If she has the energy and time getting to know more people around her and offer without asking it, she will not just be protected from the enemy, and gain long-lasting professional allies and future opportunities.

3. Keep the enemy confusing

It seems that the enemy won't be friendly to your friends. Then the trick here is to make the enemy feel like they are in control and that your friend is oblivious to their attacks. Then the enemy might finally think no further action is required.

Just don't waste any time on fighting back or seeking revenge.
replied by LEGEND (6,078 points) 2 10 28
@ChrisKing you have a point there. If you are working with an enemy, you are cautious and loves to be always careful, but when you are working with a friend,you tend to relax and feel comfortable.
replied by LEGEND (6,078 points) 2 10 28
@Puffa this is really a very good advice and I read it carefully. I will advise this to my friend. The only difficult for her is the ally of this person that I think not doing their job but always watching her to commit mistakes.
replied by (250 points) 1 7
Just ignore the person and it will pass out eventually. Since, she likes her job, she better keep it.

3 Answers

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answered by LEGEND (7,490 points) 4 15 39
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Best answer

This is an awkward situation and if it isn't dealt with soon it could lead to many problems in the workplace. Hopefully, by now these two people are older and will try and put thing behind them and especially at work. Emotions will be the biggest factor in all of this. Here are a few suggestions that your friend can do to make this transaction easier and to hopefully get along with this person.

  1. When growing up and in school, we seem to make enemies from time to time. But as life goes on and people grow up these don't seem so important now and can be overlooked. Your friend will need to face this person sooner or later and the sooner she does this the better she will be. She should try and bring a peace offering to this person. Maybe a cup of coffee and ask if they can talk. Try talking to this person and telling them how much you love your job and how you don't want your differences from the past to get in the way of how you'll perform your job.
  2. Asking this person out to lunch to talk is yet another way to get over these issues from the past. It is best to leave what happened in the past in the past. Especially at work. You don't need a problem from the past getting in the way of a new job.
  3. I feel that time has passed and people change. Your friend needs to give this person a chance.
  4. If you talk with people they are just as sorry for what took place years ago as you are.
  5. What caused the problems years ago shouldn't be an issue today. You are both adults and have a job to do. You are no longer in school and fighting over a boyfriend or some stupid thing a person said about you. 

In other words, move on. Get over this. You are an adult now and the best way to move past all this is by talking with this person. You will always find ghosts from the past life and the only way to deal with them is head on. Take the first move to make peace. You don't have to be a best friend, but you can reach an understanding at work. Don't do anything stupid to make her angry at work. She has been there longer than you and you are the new employees, not her. 

Just talk to her and come to some sort of an agreement that you both can work with. This will make life so much easier for the both of you. Don't let the past get in the way of a new future.
replied by LEGEND (6,078 points) 2 10 28
You gave me the kindest, nicest and best suggestions, the problem is the other person is not helping to make friends and are still mean. She changes too and when this enemy of her started hurting her feelings she know what to do, but surely it has lots of discomfort on her part.
replied by LEGEND (7,490 points) 4 15 39
It sounds like this person is childish and doesn't deserve your friend's help or kindness. Maybe it is best if she keeps her distance and doesn't pay attention to what this person is doing. In the end, if your friend disregards this other person and goes on with her work the people in the office will soon figure it out. That the other person is mean and out to hurt her. They will soon stick up for your friend and this other person will soon look very bad. 
replied by LEGEND (6,078 points) 2 10 28
Unfortunately this mean person has an ally and they are always there to ruin my friend. I still feel that my friend is not giving up soon as she needs money. I just hope that there are some things that could make it comfortable for her.
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answered by LEGEND (6,391 points) 5 10 21
Actually working with your enemy can bring out perfect results. This is because they don't talk, everyone is focusing on their work. If its a piece of information that they have to pass each other, then its simple and clear. No unnecessary communication will be made.

Also, tell her to keep away the grudge but no need to reconciling. If its saying "hi" then that's good because no one will realise the two of them are enemies. Even if the other party doesn't reply back that shouldn't be a bother.

Finally, if she's too uncomfortable maybe she can suggest to be shifted to another place. She can explain the situation to the persons in charge. Else, she can converge with her enemy they talk like mature people and settle down their dispute and agree to play cool fir the sake of the job.
replied by LEGEND (6,078 points) 2 10 28
It seems that the enemy still has a grudge and even formed an ally against her already. Too much politics in the company so I feel sad for her.
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answered by (707 points) 2 3 17
As I grow older I learned the word professionalism. Through my experiences and observations, I learned and understand how and when professionalism is to take apply. There are really times that our emotions got ahead of us and sometimes it really took over us fully, But as a professional, I believe that managing our thoughts and emotions are very essential for us so we could still remain on our ground especially when it comes to works. I believe that if we are able to manage our thoughts and emotions we will become very effective and efficient in our job. All in I can say is that just be a professional, just do your job very well and just ignore everything that is not related to work, just don't let the emotions get ahead of you, that's why we are called professionals.
replied by LEGEND (6,078 points) 2 10 28
I agree. My friend able to control her feelings, and almost everyday she is adjusting to her environment because the mean person already have an ally. I feel sad abou this.

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