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My answer is different with the other responses. For now, my answer is no. I can not be close friends with my ex boyfriend because I can not be friend to someone who cheated on me and said bad things about me.

16 Answers

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When I first got a divorce from my ex-husband I had always imagined that we would stay close friends for our daughter's sake. I always wanted him in her life, but he had other plans. He moved away and returned back to where he came from. He immediately found another woman and got married and had 2 more children. He never once looked back or cared about his daughter he left behind. It was 37 years later he decided to come around and try and find her.

We talked over the phone and I explained to him that she was now married and had her own family. That she had long forgotten about him and didn't miss him at all in her life. He kept in touch with me begging and pleading for me to help him get in touch with him. At this time I thought that wow maybe now we can just be friends for her sake and the grandkids sake. In the end, it was just like before. He had divorced his second wife and was looking to get married to his third wife. He now lost his daughter from his second marriage and wanted our daughter back in his life. He ended up being the jerk he always was. I told him that in the end, he would regret this because when I am there in the US, I am with her and the family. If he wanted to be there for the holidays or other important events then it would be wise if we could remain as friends. He still doesn't believe that we should be friends. So if you ask me my answer is no. There is normally one party or the other that will block this and try to stop it from happening.
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Wow, it's quite a touching narrative you gave to support your answer. You are saying that it becomes difficult to be a close friend to your ex due to inevitable influencers.
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I wouldn't say it would be because of inevitable influences. I would say it is more because of the way people are. There are some people who feel it is in the best interest of the children to be friends and not fight. Where others just want to be rude and mean and cause problems. They can't see beyond their own selfish desires and that is what makes it hard to be friends. 
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Yes. It is difficult to be a friend with your ex. Move on. Thanks for your answer. 
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You are very wise and understanding,I like your point of view on the Matter at hand and you have enlightened me.This is quite true most people at times don't see it from this point of view and now I see and understand what you are trying to sayI didn't know this,but now I know this is  very useful information about the matter at hand.
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It is indeed. I am very close friend with my ex husband. At first we were on very bad terms because I didn't want the relationship to end but he did. I did everything I could to make him suffer because I was so hurt , kept his children from him, ignored his phone calls etc. Over time I realised I was being unfair because they wanted to see him and I could see that I was making them suffer too so I gave in and let them see him.  I can see I was wrong now but when we are hurt we don't always behave rationally,

Most of my ex partners I have not stayed in touch with but because my husband and I had children to think about we have worked together to make things good for them. I am glad now because when you move on and those feelings of misery go away it's good to be friends. I think of him as one of my closest friends.
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I really empathize with the man by trying to put myself in his shoes when you were trying to get even with him. It's always like that especially when we feel hurt basically when we didn't expect the relationship to end. Thanks for sharing your story with us. I really appreciate your contribution.
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The dilemma that we elapsed in thought to this question completely gave us the ability to think for answers like theseThis quite a positive mindset and perspective it will change people's way of thinking because you are quite optimisticBasically this point of view is very very legit and understandable let's hope people can take it in the right way.
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Yes that's very possible. In fact a certain ex of mine we broke up two years ago, we're very close friends. The most important thing is maintaining our boundaries. He moved on and I did move on also and we both are aware about that.This isn't always the case with many people. Your relationship with someone after you've broken up will depend on how you ended the relationship. If you end it up like mature people you can always be friends. But then, if you end it up quarreling and throwing words at each other, trust me no one would love to see each other ever.

Its always advisable to end a relationship well because you don't know where you'll get the person and he maybe of great help to you.
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For there to be close friendship between two partners who has gone their separate ways, they must have ended the relationship on a good note. Point noted thank.
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The dilemma that we elapsed in thought to this question completely gave us the ability to think for answers like these.
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At first, I don't understand the question, until I read the responses. Well, it is possible to be friends with your ex? Yes, I think so. With maturity sakes and for the good of all the good memories you had, you can be friends with them. Being friends with people have levels. Maybe you can be friends with them like you will talk about your plans or some of your history, but not to the point that you will go on the date with them, unless when you are with a bunch of friends. Some ex's are friends because of their children. They need to be in good terms or decided to be friends because that is what their children wants. Also, you need to forgive each other so being friends is another chance to be at good terms with them. I had learned lots of friends who are ex's but they are good friends.
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Correctly said my friend. You can definitely be a friend to your ex as long as the motive is pure and genuine. Why would  you be an enemy to someone you once claim to love? It sounds absurd, right?
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The sensitivity to this topic aloud us to think accordingly and you did.
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I always believe we can still be friends with an ex but not close friends but this is just me,I'm liberal like that but some people might think otherwise because an ex should remain an ex, a forgotten person and that's why ex is appended to the said person.

Well,if there's any reason why one should remain friends with a person after a relationship then so be  it especially if they both left the relationship on mutual grounds and still believe they could be good friends why not, for the mere fact no one will get hurt in the process then they can go ahead.

I can still be friends with my ex if she will never interfere with my new relationship or try to hurt me in any way.
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Obviously we have no choice not to because at the end of the day it's best for us,we have to be able to stand up for what is right.
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Yes, it's still okay to be just a friend and not too close to avoid reminiscing the memories of your past relationship
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I am still close friends with my ex. We have really great times talking and it is just pure because we've both moved on. So yes it is possible. I also think that it depends on how you ended the relrelationship. If you didn't talk things through and get closure, you are likely not to remain friends.

When we first broke up, it was bad and we weren't talking. Somehow we talked things through maturely. I had all the answers I needed and now we are such good friends with no strings attached. I think that even if you don't remain friends, don't remain as foes or enemies as well. It makes things complicated and some people may never get over it that way.
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As of now and so on I will consider these logistics as to be very legit and wise to aim on better outcomes for the question asked above.You are very wise and understanding,I like your point of view on the Matter at hand and you have enlightened me.Your idea is legit and I would rate it a five out of five because of the wisdom in the paragraph above.
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Friendship is more pure and beautiful than any other relationship. If both of you want to befriend I mean good friends, then it's completely ok. But if you think that something magical will happen then you are on the wrong side. Remember the choice is yours, what actually you want to do.
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Create yo own motion, don't wait on no man to put you on!That is quite a positive mindset and perspective it will keep you optimistic no matter the situationBy reading this I have managed to add up on my knowledge about this topic this is very useful information about the topic.
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Personally, It won't work out to me. It is not possible to have your Ex as a best friend. Because we already have some feeling and desires towards our Ex. We couldn't able to forget it as easy. Whenever you see your Ex, you will have that feel. So it is better to move on. 
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Generally convincing and understandable I am now seeing things in a different point of view after reading this answer.This message Is quite clear and deeply thought through I believe it is a way forward for all.If anyone is looking for an answer to this question I mean why not just look at it from this perspective it is quite wise.Wonderfully presented and am sure it is based on a high level of research and understanding from you as an individual.
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It is possible if the separation is a mutual decision. However, it takes time before they can do this. They still need to love themselves first since the relationship ended. If they are ready to face the world, then they can continue to have friendships with their ex-partners.
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Generally convincing and understandable I am now seeing things in a different point of view after reading this answer.Important and ver reasonable information that should be considered when trying to understand this topic/question.Wonderfully presented and am sure it is based on a high level of research and understanding from you as an individual.
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If two people are still friends after breakup, either they were never in love or are still in love. So it's really unusual to remain friends even after breakup. 
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I find this article quite reasonable and knowledgeable infact most people might not see it this way,am glad you doThis quite a positive mindset and perspective it will change people's way of thinking because you are quite optimisticObviously we have no choice not to because at the end of the day it's best for us,we have to be able to stand up for what is right.Basically this point of view is very very legit and understandable let's hope people can take it in the right way.
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Yeah it is possible that is if your bond was and is still that strong ,it is very very possible and I've seen people carry it out.
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Yes I can be a close friend with my ex no matter what problems we had when we were together we can be close friends but not dates.
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It depends on how you broke up and it depends on how close. I am closed to one of my ex because we started as friends and then we fell in love before being friends again. We haven't talked for a year to move on before she approached me on line
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Yes, it is possible to be friends with an ex. However, it is important to take time and space apart before attempting a friendship. There may be unresolved issues that need to be addressed before a friendship can be successful.
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if you ask me my answer is no. There is normally one party or the other that will block this and try to stop it from happening.
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Yes, it is possible to rekindle a friendship with someone who was once your best friend, even if you went through a period of not being as close or had a falling out. Friendships, like any relationships, can experience ups and downs. Here are some steps you can consider if you'd like to rebuild a friendship with your ex-best friend:

1. **Reflect on What Happened**: Take some time to reflect on what caused the friendship to change or deteriorate. Understanding the underlying issues can help you address them and move forward.

2. **Communication**: Reach out to your ex-best friend and express your desire to reconnect. Open and honest communication is crucial. You can acknowledge any past issues and express your willingness to work on the friendship.

3. **Apologize if Necessary**: If you were part of the reason for the friendship's decline, consider apologizing and taking responsibility for your actions. Apologies can go a long way in healing relationships.

4. **Listen and Be Understanding**: Be a good listener and try to understand your friend's perspective and feelings. Empathize with their experiences and emotions.

5. **Rebuild Trust**: Rebuilding trust may take time. Consistency and showing that you're committed to the friendship are important in regaining trust.

6. **Plan Activities**: Spend time together and engage in activities you both enjoy. Building new positive memories can help strengthen the friendship.

7. **Set Realistic Expectations**: Understand that the friendship may not be exactly the same as it was before. People change and evolve, and the dynamics of the relationship may evolve too.

8. **Respect Boundaries**: Be respectful of your friend's boundaries and needs. Everyone has their own comfort levels, and it's important to respect their choices.

9. **Forgiveness**: If there were past conflicts or misunderstandings, forgiveness is a key component of repairing a friendship. Both parties may need to forgive and let go of past grievances.

10. **Patience**: Rebuilding a friendship takes time, and it may not happen overnight. Be patient and allow the friendship to develop at its own pace.

Remember that not all friendships can be fully restored, and it's possible that your ex-best friend may not be interested in rekindling the relationship. In such cases, it's essential to respect their decision and move forward with an open heart, ready to create new friendships and connections.

Ultimately, the effort to reconnect with an ex-best friend can be a meaningful and rewarding experience, even if the friendship doesn't return to its previous "best friend" status. It can still lead to a valuable and supportive relationship.
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