asked in Love+Relationships by ELITE (4,083 points) 7 26 72
I think we have all heard of both men ad women tolerating abusive relationships in both the physical and emotional sense. Why do you think they stay?
replied by Patron (1,914 points) 3 6 16
One reason may be that the suffering person expecting the other one to change soon.
replied by ELITE (3,662 points) 7 15 56
Because they are more scared if they leave, sometimes it is more dangerous to leave than to stay, that is why there are organizations that is willing to help you out in a safe mode.

10 Answers

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answered by VISIONARY (9,008 points) 7 17 71
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People stay in abusive relationship because they believed they are in love and as such they can still change the abusive person in due time.What the forget is that an abusive person will always be one no matter how much love shown.In fact the abusive person are the ones that throws tantrums around.

Some stays for the sake of the kids this is for those with kids either in the marriage or relationship. They might not want their kids to go through emotional setbacks like having to deal with their parent's separation.

Fear of the unknown keep people in an abusive relationship. No money to move on so they decide to stay put until they are able to financially sort themselves out.
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answered by (11 points) 1 1 2
Hi there!

It's not like a person wants to stay in an abusive relationship; there is always some reason that a person is not able to come out of the abusive relationship. Different persons have different circumstances and their reasons are also different. In some cases, a person is so addicted that they think they are so in love that they they cannot leave him or her.  Where as in  some cases women are very much scared of their men. They remain in fear of the other person all the time that it blinds them to take any step for themselves.

Be it abusive one; its's always hard to leave a relationship and some people forget their self respect in these situations.

Being abusive is wrong in many ways and even tolerating is wrong. Every one should stand up for themselves at some point in their life.
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answered by (253 points) 1 3 11
There are many expressions of love and relations but most of us tend to find it in a romantic sense and that is what we call relationship. Everyone want a partner with whom they can feel special, can see their respects in eyes of a partner, can understand them and give love that is needed. Most of all who can understand the insecurities and make an effort to resolve it.

Its obvious that everyone have not been in the type of relation that is mentioned above. Sometimes its not like what we needed and what we deserve, yes i am now talking about the abusive relationships we have seen many the examples even though they are together, may be its about the insecurities or the love one do at an extreme that he can not leave the person but in any sense it is wrong and we should say a wrong deed wrong. It is important to notify what is wrong so a person should know that my partner have a problem. Tolerating these types of failures may lead to greater disasters so we should mark a grain before it get into tree...
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answered by LEGEND (6,394 points) 6 14 36
Most men are fond of abusing ladies when it comes to relationship. Maybe its not their fault and they were good initially. When people stay in a relationship for long, they tend to get bored with each other and that's when the abuse comes in. This isn't the right way of solving issues. If someone is no longer interested in you then they should let you know and you can pave way.

Another reason could be the relationship Is a forced one. Most of them never work out and the man will just be abusing you since you don't have someone else. They mostly do so so that you can get tired and go. I know of someone who went through that and the man ended up breaking her leg and as we're speaking she's a cripple and they're not living together anymore.
My advice, if someone abuses you, back off and go your away because nothing will change. As for the men, ladies are human being and abusing will never be the best solution.Discuss the issue like mature people and you'll surely reach a conclusion.
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answered by (164 points) 1 1 6
People most times dont even view that as abusive relationship, they believe it an act of love and the batterer is trying to correct because they loved them and feel they need to be corrected when they go wrong.As weird as these may seems but it is the truth.

Some stay put because they are used to the partner and believe getting another partner will be tough, so they rather stay with the one they are used to. Yoi know the saying of the devil you know is better than the angel yoi do not know,So it makes them get stucked and leaving becomes a very huge problem.

Others took the usual blood oath to remain together forever and nothing can even separate them.
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answered by Patron (1,914 points) 3 6 16
Everyone would expect a good relationship without fighting, both physical and verbal. You also certainly never imagined going into a relationship like that, right? You think you are smart enough to end such a relationship. However, unfortunately, that doesn't always happen. Most people who enter into a painful relationship, also unconsciously are in the situation or do not even admit it.

Most of the people may not be in a position to ask for the help they need. However, there are ways to find out whether you are in a bad relationship or not, and how to deal with it. Maybe the relationship between you and your partner is good, but what about the relationships of the people around you?
replied by ELITE (3,662 points) 7 15 56
I think we will know if we are in a bad relationship once we get hurt physically.
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answered by ELITE (3,054 points) 8 36 66
I think most people stay in abusive relationships because they have this tinge of hope that there will come a time when this person will change. I think when you love someone, you don't easily give up. You'll fight for your love until the moment when there's nothing left to fight for.

Moreover, I think the person understands where the other person is coming from. Oftentimes, these abusive people tend to act like that because they, too, have been abused or have been in a traumatizing experience. Although this should never be an excuse; however, more than being left behind, I think what these people need most are people who will stick with them and who will help them change.
replied by ELITE (3,662 points) 7 15 56
That is true, some abusive will keep saying they will change but, it won't happen actually.
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answered by LEGEND (6,072 points) 7 22 49
Abusive relationship is as result of what the other person allow. There is a general say that what you allow will only continue. Them being in that abusive relationship is caused by one key factor which is emotional weakness. But others might decide to attribute it to trivial excuses like love, children, parents, what would people say etc.
Looking at it critically, you will agree with me that there is no reason whatever for an individual to tolerate abuse in a relationship without having the courage to walk out of it. The sad thing about the whole thing is once the abuser has started the cycle of the abuse on the other person it will never stop until something drastic is done by the victim.


Let's not forget in a hurry that abuse in relationship is not only physical neither is it only perpetuated by the males as we were meant to believe. We have other forms of abusive relationship. And the female folks could also be abusers of relationships too.


Wherever you fall be it male or female, phyiscal or emotional abusive relationship, please find the guts to wave goodbye to anything that no longer serve your emotional and psychological well being.
replied by ELITE (3,662 points) 7 15 56
I remember one old lady as she was once in an abusive relationship, she say's "do not allow them to abuse you, if you allow them it is your fault".
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answered by VISIONARY (9,060 points) 5 21 52
Many of them are afraid to leave and be on their own. There are some people who just can't stand to be alone in their life and live alone. Therefore, they will tolerate this type of abuse so they don't need to be alone.
I have a friend who knows the relationship she is in is very abusive. She has left several times swearing to never go back. Within a few days, she is always back there and accepting the abuse as she did in the past. When you ask her about this all she says it is complicated. I don't get why it is complicated because she doesn't have any children and she isn't married.
What all this boils down to is that a person doesn't respect themselves or even their own self-worth. They are willing to accept the fact that they mean nothing to anyone and this is all they deserve. These people are more abusive to themselves than the relationship.
replied by ELITE (3,662 points) 7 15 56
It is not definitely safe to leave if you don't ask for help.Sometimes the danger will follow if you leave, it is better to ask for help than doing it alone.
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answered by LEGEND (6,086 points) 3 27 50
I have a friend and she is inside an abusive relationship because of her children. She is hoping that her abusive husband will change and they will have the life that they dream of after. Her husband keeps on promising that he will change but once he is drunk, she will be physically and emotionally abuse. My friend don't want a broken family. She said that she promised the Lord that through thick and thin, she will be a mother and a wife to her own family. Yes, I get her point. She is open minded and willing to take every struggle just to have a complete relationship. But what will happen to her. She is slowly dying inside and out. She looks like she is very sad. If you will lose your life because of an abusive relationship, I don't think you need to stay in that relationship.
replied by ELITE (3,662 points) 7 15 56
That is really sad, I know someone too that once her husband get drunk that's when the abuse begin again. Should avoid drinking if they really wanted to change.

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