asked in Social+Philosophy by ELITE (3,054 points) 8 36 66

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answered by VISIONARY (9,060 points) 5 21 52
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When you've hurt someone by your words or actions it is hard to forgive yourself for what you've done. Being mean or aggressive is not really human nature unless you are just this type of person. If you've asked this question it appears to me that you are not this type of person and you've done something that you regret and find it hard to accept and live with yourself right now.

You are going to have to learn from this mistake and try to make it right now. This can be extremely hard if you've hurt a person really badly by your action. The only thing you can do to right this wrong is to speak with this person. Let them know why you've done what you've done.

I hurt my younger brother one time so badly it was hard for him to forgive me because of what I did. He was extremely sick and the doctors were afraid if I had told him the truth about our grandmother he could have died. I had to do something horrible and lie to my brother so he had a better chance to live. In the end, I had a very hard time living with myself and my brother had even a harder time to forgive me for what I did. it isn't easy to hurt another person and in the end, this will stay with you forever. All you can do is learn from these errors you've made in life and not do them again. You still have to live with them, but if you try and fix them it does make it easier over time.
replied by (385 points) 1 2 11
It is very easy to forgive others. Just a thought that god will punish the wrong doers can help you forgive a person who has done wrongs. However, it is very hard to forgive oneself. One of the reasons for suicide is these people were unable to forgive themselves.
replied by ELITE (3,054 points) 8 36 66

How are you able to forgive others so easily? I won't find it very easy to forgive others, especially if they've done something grave to me and to the people I care about.

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answered by VISIONARY (9,008 points) 7 17 71
It never easy to forgive one's self especially if it really a hurting one but we just have to forgive ourselves and move on,no need keeping ourselves in bondage and be literally flogging it,it wouldn't undo what have been done.

When I realise I have done the unthinkable I just get mad at my self but after a while seek to correct it or do some restitution but if it beyond me,I just tell myself the truth that I  didn't  do well and as such I should just forgive myself and forget all about it.

Still holding unto what we can't changed is putting our selves in chain and holding it down and I hate to be in situations like this, so I forgive myself and let go.
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answered by LEGEND (6,011 points) 6 13 26
After I've done something really awful I feel extremely terribly and disgusted by my behavior because I left myself down. At that point I feel Like i'm the weakest person. So I let myself drown and linger in guilt. Not self pity but atonement. It is important for me and my inner self to recognize the guilt because if I just shove it away, it is likely to happen again until I reach the point of no return.

Aftrewards I seek forgiveness from myself and God. I channel the guilt into positive energy. Energy for growth and development to become a better person. Everyone falls out of track every now and then but our ability to recognize that we actually fell is what tells good of us. No one is above mistakes but we must not make excuses for ourselves.
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answered by LEGEND (6,394 points) 6 14 36
Many a times I find myself hurting people by the words I utter but I realise later. I always feel I have done the greatest mistake ever. In fact words hurt more than beatings. The words you tell someone especially the hurting one's will never be erased from their minds no matter how much you try asking for forgiveness.

What I  normally do is apologise to that person in the first place, then when going to bed, I always remember the incident and pray for it. Lastly and most important i always try as much as possible to comfort myself that at least I was passing some message although in the wrong way. What I always keep in mind is not to repeat the same mistake agai. Most of the times, that matter always affects me for days.
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answered by LEGEND (6,072 points) 7 22 49
First thing first is you forgiving yourself whenever you know you have done something bad. By forgiving yourself you free yourself from the fetter of guilt which would have held down. If you choose not to forgive yourself you are only doing more harm than good to yourself. That's why you have to take that bold step to let go of your transgression.

This becomes easier when you realize that there won't be need of crying over a spilt milk. Having this knowledge is the first step taken towards forgiving yourself. It might interest you to know that if you don't forgive yourself you can't forgive anyone else.

To be completely free from guilty conscience strive with all your might to bury the hatchet of any wrong you have done to someone by first forgiving yourself before asking forgiveness from the person you must have offended.
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answered by ELITE (4,083 points) 7 26 72
I think we've all done things we're not proud of, I know I have. I've said things to hurt people and I made my parents worry about me when I was young. Now that I am a parent myself I know how that feels and would do anything to take that back.

Obviously without knowing what you've done it's hard to put myself in your shoes. If you need to apologise to someone if you know you've been wrong maybe that will help you forgive yourself. If you need to confess to something maybe that would help but you can't beat yourself up forever.
When I was young and I did bad things I used to write a letter to the person I had wronged apologising for what I'd done. I never ever gave them the letters but it did help as it relieved the burden of what I had done. Whatever it is I'm sure it's not as bad as you think so don't be too hard on yourself.
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answered by LEGEND (6,086 points) 3 27 50
Actually, forgiving yourself for doing something awful is the first thing you need to do. Accepting the fact that you did something awful that you never imagine yourself doing is really should be taking care of. You need to think about it. You need to know the reason why you did it? The good thing is, you learn from doing it. You realized it is really awful and could make a lesser of you. To stand up from that fall, you need to forgive yourself. You need to talk to yourself that it will not happen again. If you need to apologize to a certain person by doing it, you need to step up and do it immediately. You need to accept your mistakes and find ways to avoid to happen again. Forgive yourself because you need to move on from that. You need to continue living even you had mistakes done.

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