asked in Love+Relationships by (21 points) 4

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answered by LEGEND (6,005 points) 5 9 19
This can be really awkward for two friends to love the same person. As weird as it is, make and effort to talk about it. First it eases any tension that it could have caused and you may end up realizing that one of you isn't really into that person and other person gets to keep them. I've seen cases like this where one friend backs off for the other.
While some people would not mind, others will feel like it is hurting their ego. To protect their friendship, some friends decide to both let it go. Others just stop being friends which is terrible in my opinion. How ever silly you may feel, you must have a talk with your friend. The said person should also be allowed to make unbiased decisions. I wouldn't want to be in love with the same person as my friend.
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answered by VISIONARY (9,003 points) 6 9 19
My first thought will be to let go and see how it goes. I always believe in letting go of things if it was really meant to be,it will come sit pretty on my laps.

So in this case there will be no struggling just go ahead with the person and have all the time with the person, its the best thing to do .

Fighting, violence,ranting or blackmailing as never helped any situation and clearly this what people that indulges in things fail to understand if you need a thing at all cost,it better to have a round table discussion to sort things out but trying to be negative about might even bring more problems.

So the best bet in this love triangle is either a round table discussion or letting the other person have the friend.
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answered by ELITE (3,210 points) 4 7 18
I call this situation the "friend breaker",  because at the end of most situations like this, the friends involved always end up with bad blood.
Liking or loving the same person as your friend is a very tough situation and dealing with such is even tougher. I don't think there's a better way of handling the situation than talking about it with your friend. But what if both friends are not willing to back down for the other, it will then be up to the person they are both crushing on. This is the point that can make or break their friendship if the supposed liked person goes for one of the friends. It will take a very strong willed person to support and still be friends with the chosen friend. In anyways, one gets hurt. I like to think that the only way of preserving their friendship lies with the liked one, he or she has to make the decision of not picking any of the friends. This is the only way of avoiding bad blood.
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answered by ELITE (3,032 points) 5 20 40
Well this is awkward. Normally, if someone will ask me if he or she should continue loving a person despite knowing that the competition is tough and the chances are slim, I would tell them to still go with it, and let the person decide. However, having your friend as a rival, I don't think you'd be happy knowing that one of you will get hurt.

In as much as I want to be with the person I love, I also can't bear the thought of losing a friend; hence, I think if I will be in this kind of situation, I will try to talk things through. Doing this will make us realize what we ought to do and will prevent further complications. Talking to each other will also help in perceiving whose feelings weigh more, because if we want to keep our friendship either one of us or both of us should let go. It will take a lot of thinking and talking to finally be able to decide, but I think it is what's best.
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answered by LEGEND (6,078 points) 2 10 28
Who saw him or her first? I am not sure of your gender, but there are bro codes that has been around with guy friends. It is like when your bro saw the girl friends and he founds out that you want her too, you cannot like her anymore because he saw her first. With girls, it should be talk about. It really depends on how you feel on that person. If you think your love for that person, can make you both happy and if you think he likes you too or giving the same love in return then you need to fight for what you feel for that person and tell your friends that you are sincerely inlove with that person. Love should not ruin a friendship. Friendship also is important. You just need to have an understanding of what you want to achieve and one should give way for this true love.
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answered by LEGEND (7,490 points) 4 15 39
It is easy to say you love a person, but have you ever dated this person? Were the two of you dating him at the same time? It sounds like the both of you know this man and you are both friends with him. The real question of love is your relationship with him. Are you both dating him at the same time? This can be a sticky situation of this is happening. I feel there is more to this story or question that you aren't saying right now. That makes it very hard to give a great answer to you in the end. Well here is my thoughts on this one.
If she is really your friend then you should be able to sit down and have a conversation with her. You should be able to talk freely about this man and tell each other how you feel. Find out the truth behind this and why she is in love with him. Find out if she is dating him and they have a relationship together. Let her know if you are dating him and if you have a relationship with him.
In the end, you will have to decide how to handle this and not hurt your friend or get hurt by your friend. This will be hard if you both are dating this man at the same time. If this is the case I would take a good look at this man and decide if it is worth your time or energy. If a man is dating you and your best friend is he really a man you want to continue to see?
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answered by ELITE (4,052 points) 5 13 41
When I was 14 my best friend and I liked the same boy but I knew that he preferred her. It was very painful at the time but we didn't fall out over it as I was happy to admit defeat. She did say that neither of us  should date him but I wasn't comfortable with that so I let go.The relationship didn't last long anyway and we eventually settled with different boys.
We can't help who we are attracted to so if this love triangle does happen I suppose it's up to the boy to choose the girl he likes the most. Hopefully it won't destroy the friendship of the girls in question but it can be upsetting for the one that loses. Unrequited love is a part of growing up and happens to most of us at some time during our lives. It's painful but not the end of the world because as time goes on the one that lost will move on and meet someone who loves her and only her.
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answered by LEGEND (6,391 points) 5 10 21
This is quite hard question but trying to put myself in that shoe, I think I'll quit and even if the man chooses me and leaves alone my friend, I won't accept the proposal. This is because I treasure my relationship with my fellow ladies rather than a man. Besides it will bring  a lot of issues as to why the man chose me over her, yet I really hate issues so much. Another scenerio like that happened to me once when my sister and I had fallen for the same guy. I had to act maturely and didn't show her that I was concerned in any way. The only problem with such kind of relationships is that your relationship with your friend will start fading till it dies. Besides you'll feel very insecured being around the couple and at times you find yourself responsible for the  blames.
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answered by LEGEND (6,076 points) 6 9 22
Although it has never happened, and I don't foresee it happening in the nearest future. But if it ever happened because we can't really predict what tomorrow holds, all I have to do as a gentleman that can't allow woman come between my friend and I, I would simply give her up for my friend.

There are fundamental principles guiding my life, one out of which is never allow woman and money come between me and my friend. Anything else can bring rift between us but these two things are completely forbidden for me. Instead of me having misunderstanding with my friend because of opposite sex, I would let him have her so that our relationship would  still continue.

It would be outrageous for me to allow someone that is a stranger to us to bring negative vibes between me and my friend, because there's tendency that after they go their separate ways, we would still remain as friends just as it were before she showed up in our lives.
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answered by (23 points) 1
I have experience with this particular situation. My friend and I liked the same girl. The best thing to do is to keep an open conversation with your crush about how they feel. Maybe ask them who they like or ask their best friend. Also, be open to your friend about your feelings toward your crush and also his/her feelings for your crush too. In the end the girl we both liked didn't share the feelings we both had for her. It could be that the girl/guy you both like ends up with you or with your friend. Or neither. It really depends on the person in the middle of love triangle's feelings toward both of you. Just be an honest, trustworthy person. Be friends with both parties involved in the love triangle. Make sure you're okay with rejection because we have all been there before. I have been rejected many times before and it taught me just to go back out there and meet more people of the opposite sex.

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