asked in History+Politics+Society by LEGEND (6,078 points) 2 10 28
How do you feel when you know you had work hard for everyday of your life, and one of your officemates always receives the praises from your boss, even though you know you are the only one who work hard for that task? How do you handle favoritism and how do you feel about it?
replied by ELITE (3,642 points) 6 8 14
I will feel awkwardness and no confident at all.In a work environment everyone should be treated equal, but we cannot avoid there are some people will favor one than the others.
replied by LEGEND (6,078 points) 2 10 28
Yes we cannot avoid it but I just hope that these people will able to see the effect on this on their team or to the people working behind them. They are truly mismanaging the right way to manage a team.
replied by ELITE (3,548 points) 3 7 11
This is something that is very common in all workplaces. So, the best thing to do in my opinion would be to focus on your job and do your best. 
replied by LEGEND (6,078 points) 2 10 28
yes, I have to say that it is the best thing to do. Even if you are uncomfortable with people, you are in the office so you need to be present and focus on your job instead.
replied by (250 points) 1 7
I sometimes loose my motivation. But then again, I realized it is inevitable. So I just get along with it.

6 Answers

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answered by ELITE (3,032 points) 5 21 40
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I do think favoritism exists in every workplace and that it is just a matter of how severe or apparent it is. Although such is the case, having favoritism, even in the slightest sense, isn't a good practice, as this may create hostile environment for most employees. Whether I'm the victim or the VIP, I don't think I'd be able to handle this properly but this are the things that I might do:

1. I will speak to my boss about this. As I have always said, I am a firm believer that anything can be resolved in talking things over and that compromises or agreements can be arrived at. If I am the one being favored, I will mention it in as subtle way as possible so as not to sound very arrogant. Otherwise, if I am the victim, I will make sure that I am not accusing my boss of such case because that can even backfire. He or she can easily deny it; hence, I'd be the one in trouble instead. In this situation, I'd rather offer my services to be able to be considered in other opportunities.

2. No matter how appealing the opportunity is, If I know that I'm just being favored and that someone is best suited to handle the work, then I'd give way. I will say no even if the boss insists. Because what good will it bring if we are to waste the skills and intelligence of other employees. I also don't think that people will stay for long if they will always remain unnoticed. However, if I am the one being deprived of opportunities, I will speak to the one being favored and ask him or her to get me on board of the project. Being involved in these works may lead them to realize that there are other employees who are also capable of doing such things. However, I'd make it a point to not engage in unhealthy competitions because this might just ruin my career.

3. I will refuse of any other benefits that comes with being favored. For instance, I might be easily given approvals for vacations but if I know that this doesn't happen to anyone, then I won't be too opportunistic even if I want it so bad.
replied by LEGEND (6,078 points) 2 10 28
Everyone already complain about her and no one has been listened. There is a big politics at work that is why everyone will just focus on their work than attitudes of some people. Me, i  let the boss know that I am not in her favor that is why she never like me too. 
replied by ELITE (3,032 points) 5 21 40
I think you should be very careful in showing your disdain towards her because you might just get yourself in trouble.
replied by LEGEND (6,078 points) 2 10 28
I am not afraid of her and I could attest to everything she has been doing with me and others. If she will take it personally then I would do the same because she started it. Maybe that is being unprofessional but sometimes doing this will make the other person know of his or her treatments towards you.
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answered by ELITE (4,052 points) 5 13 41
I think in every area of our life some people will get along better with each other than others and this can result in favouritism in the workplace. It doesn't make it right but we are all guilty of liking some people more than others.

However, it's not very professional to make it obvious and an employer  should try to put personal feelings aside and try to treat all his employees as equals. I have been in a position where I felt I was being overlooked even though I worked just as hard and produced good results. It isn't a good feeling but mentioning it would cause a lot of bad feeling so all you can do is your best and hope that your efforts will be recognised by your boss . Don't let your self esteem suffer, just know in your heart that you are doing your best and you're good at your job.
replied by LEGEND (6,078 points) 2 10 28
I am exactly feeling that way at the office. Our boss seem to like a co-worker. Even though she made a mistake, she is forgiven instantly and even our boss will make way to find excuses of her short comings. While some of us are treated like we don't have brains.
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answered by LEGEND (6,006 points) 5 9 19
This can be a very unpleasant feeling especially when you've worked just as hard or even harder than the others. Some bosses develop likeness for some workers more than the others, hence they channel all their praises to those people and the rest feel left out. This often happens even outside working environment.
This can be discouraging and you'll feel like you are being taken for granted but don't let it. Do not compromise your personality for anything in a quest to be recognized. Just keep doing your work like you used to. You can also work on your working relationship with your boss and colleagues if it is lacking. Soon enough all your efforts will be recognized
Hard work always pays sooner or later. Remain the best version of yourself all the time.
replied by LEGEND (6,078 points) 2 10 28
I am discourage all over because she can never see me. When I am offering a help or suggestion she seems to be close minded. I am not sure if she just hate me. I don't care if she hates me but my opinions and suggestion could be heard too. I don't want to hate her, but I am feeling it right now.
replied by LEGEND (6,006 points) 5 9 19
Perhaps you should be more patient with her. Kindly state your opinion as something for her to think about and don't come off as mean or anything. I think she'll come around. 
replied by LEGEND (6,078 points) 2 10 28
I am always patient with her because she is the boss, she should be respected, but I make sure I sounded my opinions and suggestions. Like I did my part in decision making and solving the problem.
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answered by LEGEND (6,391 points) 5 10 21
That's harsh but unfortunately there's nothing you can do about it. The only way out is just watch maybe one day he'll note your hard work. At times you might feel like you should go ahead and tel your boss that the results of what he's experiencing is through your hard work and not the other colleague. At times you find feel demoralised when no one notices how hard you're working.

Just play cool with everything as long as you're paid your salary. Besides, you may never know where their relationship extends to especially after work. Then don't try doing something so that the boss notices it, no, the other colleague will be so much pissed by you and this might even cost your relationship. What I can assure you is that one day you'll receive appreciation for your hardwork.
replied by LEGEND (6,078 points) 2 10 28
I am all over demoralized now, actually since yesterday that I post this question because of all she had done to us and fellow co-workers. She only see one and she only appreciate one. I just hope she and that one co-worker will just stay in the office and do all the work there.
replied by (707 points) 2 3 17

Hi there! now let's take a breather :) calm yourself sister. I know it is really hard to be in that situation, I know because I've been there many times. I even experienced being shouted by the owner of the company and yes, the owner said bad words to me is it because of the things I didn't do, funny right? :)  You can do it, sister, you can break through that wall. That situation of yours is just want to teach you something, believe me after you find what it is you will become stronger and better. 

replied by (707 points) 2 3 17
I strongly agree with you, as long as we are paid that is all the reason and I think enough reason for us to continue with our work, after all, we are working because to get paid.
replied by LEGEND (6,078 points) 2 10 28
I am stronger and better, I believe I am. Thanks for that advise! It is just that I am only a human being and I can see there is some that is taking advantage and being closed minded that is making me uncomfortable everyday. I focus on my work but I need to feel this sometimes to make me charged up.
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answered by (707 points) 2 3 17
As for me, I will just say to myself  "so be it" if my boss has favoritism then so be it, I really don't care and I really don't mind it and doesn't really matter at all. I will just continue my work, and work professionally, I will talk to them like what I normally do, I will raise what I want to raise and tell my concerns whenever I have concerns. For me, it doesn't matter whether my boss is not appreciating me or something I will just do my work and no strings attached, after all it is really my job to do my work very well. I will only do what my work is but, of course, I will give my best to finish my task or project, I'll just do what my part to the company and whenever I've done with my part and I finish my job then that's it end of the story. If there's a favoritism that is totally fine with me I will not take it personally.
replied by LEGEND (6,078 points) 2 10 28
Favoritism is being personal. The HR explains this for me but I wonder why they are blinded by the fact that the 'boss' is is doing that in the office. It affect me because I need to do all the work while the favorite person will do all the easy task and be at home on time. We will work tilll late because the boss wants it. It is easy to say that you should focus on your job, you can be focus, but sometimes when the task needs a decision making and your boss will say no to your decision making techniques because it is not in favor with her favorite then what will you do? You will just accept it? The work force in our company are truely affected even with budget so it is not easy for us to just be thrown somewhere because she don't like us. I really feel sad and demoralized. 
replied by (707 points) 2 3 17

Don't be sad sis, Keep your head up. It must be really hard but must keep on doing what is right, for now should take leaves and take some fresh air. You need to relax your mind and soul. Do not push yourself too hard. Just do your part in the project, now if your boss didn't want your work then just take it easy do not stress yourself too much.

replied by LEGEND (6,078 points) 2 10 28
Yes I made a breather every day. I sing in the ladies room when I am sad and irritable, because if not, stress will get in and that would be bad idea to entertain it. Thank you !!
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answered by LEGEND (7,490 points) 4 15 39
In truth, this is very difficult to work in an office where a few people in the office has special privileges. This creates friction and tension in the office and causes many employees to not want to work with these people or even help them out. In a work environment, the boss must be totally objective and treat each person equally. If this can't happen then this person needs to be reported to their supervisor. Nothing good can from this and it will harm the work environment and the production of the other people in the office. If one person notices that a few people aren't required to do the work the same as others, then they will get angry and start doing as they do. In the end, the boss will more than likely write them off and when they tell them this isn't fair and why they will probably have a mark on their record and a strick against them.
replied by LEGEND (6,078 points) 2 10 28
She is already reported to the HR many times, even on my early generation. I reported her too. I asked the HR what should I do and I was shock to know she is aware. She had nothing to do about it. Now I am not surprised while there are lots of people resigning from the job just because of her. 
replied by (707 points) 2 3 17
At times like that, you can be lazy sometimes, just do what you want to do. If your tired doing your job with her because she didn't want your work no matter what you do then don't do it. Who cares about the deadline, since you cannot do anything about her approval, then just do it whenever you want it to do. Just have a strong heart. you can do it just make it easy.
replied by LEGEND (6,078 points) 2 10 28
This is the time when I really need to wear that "strong heart" of yours lol. I just need to follow her instructions but I get really irritated when it is already followed and she change it again but not the deadline. I will just eat kwek kwek.

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