I hate how my mind has been conditioned to the thought that when something good happens, something bad comes after. This has been haunting me and has prevented me from celebrating even little achievements because my mind also thinks that there's nothing good with celebrations if I'd be in trouble afterwards. I have been this way since time immemorial, and until now I still haven't figure out how to beat this state of craziness. I think I'm being so pathetic about this but it can't be helped. It's like the mind has been so afraid for so long that it no longer has the power to overcome such thoughts.
A friend once told me, "Some people need to have it bad for others to have it good." As silly as it may sound, it kinda gave me a relief. A relief that I am not the only person who's having this thoughts, and that people out there may actually benefit from the troubles I'm having. More than self improvement, it's good to think that these troubles make people experience comfort. It's a personal belief but I'm happy with that.