How do I deal? Straight boyfriend likes hooks up with men?

Question

this I recently caught my boyfriend texting another man about wanting to hook up. He explained in detail this has happened 3 other times with 2 different men, he said it’s never been emotional. He said he’s never had sex with another man, only has ever received oral sex. He said he likes that it feels wrong and likes the newness of it all. 

I just can’t wrap my head around this and I don't think I could ever accept this information. 

How do I deal with this?

Answer 1

It's important to communicate openly and honestly with your boyfriend about your feelings and concerns. Discuss boundaries, expectations, and the impact on your relationship. Seek understanding and consider seeking the support of a counselor or therapist to navigate this situation together.

Answer 2

If you don't mind it, it could just be an experience you let him enjoy. But if you're absolutely not okay with it, you don't have to deal with it because it isn't your problem to figure out, it's his. If you don't want any part of it, then I guess he's not the one for you, sorry. On the other hand, in case you want to still believe he's straight thinking it's just a phase, you can help him deal with it. At the end of the day, it's your decision to make but don't be blinded by what you feel. Ensure you make the best decision for you. Good luck.

Answer 3

I think its important to know what your partner exactly feels about something. and somehow we need to deal with it.I think best solution for you is to move on and forget this story as a bad dream. 

Answer 4

Discovering that your partner has engaged in behavior that violates the boundaries of your relationship can be extremely difficult and emotionally challenging. It's important to prioritize your well-being and take steps that feel right for you. Here are some suggestions on how to deal with this situation:

1. **Take Time for Yourself:**

   Allow yourself the space and time to process your emotions. It's okay to feel hurt, angry, or confused. Take a step back from the situation to gain clarity on your own feelings.

2. **Communication:**

   Have an open and honest conversation with your boyfriend about how you feel. Share your thoughts, concerns, and the impact of his actions on the relationship. Clear communication is crucial in understanding each other's perspectives.

3. **Set Boundaries:**

   Clearly define your boundaries and expectations for the relationship. If there are actions that you find unacceptable, make sure your partner understands them. Establishing clear boundaries helps create a foundation of trust.

4. **Seek Support:**

   Reach out to friends, family, or a therapist to share your feelings and seek support. Talking to someone you trust can provide valuable perspectives and emotional support during challenging times.

5. **Evaluate the Relationship:**

   Consider whether the relationship aligns with your values and if both partners are committed to the same level of exclusivity. Reflect on whether you can rebuild trust and move forward together.

6. **Self-Care:**

   Prioritize self-care during this challenging period. Engage in activities that bring you comfort and relaxation. Taking care of your emotional well-being is essential.

7. **Professional Help:**

   If needed, consider seeking the guidance of a couples therapist or counselor. Professional help can provide a neutral and supportive space to navigate complex emotions and relationship issues.

8. **Decision-Making:**

   Assess your own feelings and whether you can forgive and rebuild trust. Understand that everyone has different boundaries, and it's okay to prioritize your own needs and happiness.

Remember that each person and relationship is unique, and there is no one-size-fits-all solution. Ultimately, the decision on how to proceed lies with you, and it's important to prioritize your own emotional health and well-being. If the breach of trust is too significant, you may need to consider whether continuing the relationship is the best choice for you.

Answer 5

Communicate openly and honestly about your feelings and concerns. Consider seeking guidance from a therapist or counselor to navigate this situation and determine what is best for you both.