Marriages ar full of joy, love, respect... wth 1being for life! Ar we doing ths4 security nd having tht 1to grow old with?

Question

Why Do I Ask????

I am an 80's kid  from South Africa and still not married or anybody asking for my hand. Shoooore, the are those who will come with falls intention and saying words they know we want/need to hear. Don't get me wrong, I am happy single and being a full mom to my baby girl.

I am asking this mostly for her and her pears as well, as she is/they are growing up fast and already saying she does not want to get married at all or have  someone in her life.

Our Elders (alive and the desist) are probably the ones to blame, but I feel at fault too for not letting the past be the past, so I can open up my heart to someone special..... _{HAD TO SEPARATE THIS TO BE CLEAR}

at home I am not seen as a mother or a fully grown women especially at church, reason being, all my friends have been married and some got divorced but "still, I wait".

Growing up, marriage was see as an achievement and important for us all so that we build a stable, healthy and reliable families and a team (polygamy). This was mostly done because our elders did not wish for us to be adulteress and promiscuous nation.

What do you think???

Answer 1

It sounds like you're grappling with a complex set of emotions and expectations regarding marriage and relationships. It's important to remember that societal expectations and cultural norms around marriage can vary greatly, and it's ultimately up to individuals to define what is meaningful and fulfilling for themselves.

 It's understandable that you may feel pressure from your cultural background and the expectations of your elders. However, it's also important to prioritize your own happiness and well-being. Being a single parent and focusing on raising your daughter can be a fulfilling and valuable role. It's okay if marriage or a romantic relationship is not currently a priority for you.

 Regarding your daughter's thoughts on marriage, it's important to listen to her and respect her desires. As she grows up, she may change her perspective several times, and it's important to support her in exploring what feels right for her. Encourage her to pursue her own dreams and goals, whether they involve marriage or not. 

Ultimately, the decision to marry or be in a relationship is a personal one. It's important to take your time, trust your instincts, and open your heart when you feel ready. Don't rush into something just because of societal expectations or pressure. Focus on building a happy and fulfilling life for yourself and your daughter, and the right person may come along when the time is right.

Comments

Amen, well sed. Thank you, I hear you loud and clear. We learn something new everyday and some other things we are reminded of. 

Answer 2

Relationships incorporate a large number of viewpoints, including euphoria, love, regard, and the obligation to being together forever. Security is most certainly a piece of it, but at the same time it's about friendship, development, and shared encounters as you venture through coexistence.