asked in Love+Relationships by (275 points) 1 2 12
replied by (150 points) 1 12
Because a happy marriage is an "ideal" and every parent wants their child to be happy.  However, maybe I'm different from other parents.  I do not want my child to get married if they don't want to be married.  There's nothing wrong with being single.
replied by Patron (2,100 points) 3 6 15
It doesn't mean that if your parents had a bad marriage that yours can't be good. your life's happiness does not depend on them, you are the writer of you destiny, you decide what you want to be and the way you want your life to look like. of course all this is through the help of God he's the one who directs your feet.

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12 Answers

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answered by (44 points) 3

The fact there are failed marriages does not mean that there are no wonderful marriages. Furthermore, it is not automatic that the children will follow the same path of life as their parents. People want different things. There are those who enjoy companionship while others want a totally independent life. A child from a broken home may want to have a married life and they should be given all the support needed to make it a success. Generally, parents want their children to have a much better life than theirs. In this instance a parent must be open and admit to their children the mistakes they made in their marriages so that the children do not repeat the same mistakes. Furthermore they must emphasize to their children that a good marriage begins by getting married for the right reasons.

In summary, I can say that divorced parents know that it is possible for marriages to work and the fact they themselves failed in this regard does not in any way mean that their children's marriages are cursed and doomed to fail. 

replied by (389 points) 1 8
The only reason I see on encouraging children to get married even though the parents do not have a good married life is the continuation of lineage.
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answered by LEGEND (6,391 points) 5 10 21
People have a lot of reasons. First and foremost its about getting that dowry. Some parents are selfish and have that greed for money. They will hence push that girl to get married in order to get that dowry and quench their thirst for money/wealth. Also, maybe the family is very poor, they'll have to force the marriage in order they get the dowry to help them in boosting their lives.

Also,  they  would love their children to have the experience of what marriage life is like so that they stop blaming their parents. I have seen this with several people around and also in movies but some children end up having good, peaceful marriages while others end up being like their parents.
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answered by LEGEND (7,630 points) 5 15 39
I guess I was very different when it came to my daughter. I never pushed her into getting married just for the sake of being married. Even when she called me at the age of 24 and told me she was pregnant and asked me if I was angry she wasn't getting married, my answer was no. I was actually relieved that she didn't want to get married. I think getting married just because you are having a baby is the completely wrong reason to get married. A few years later when she decided to get married I was happy for her. I thought it was a decision that she made on her own and not because she was going to have a baby. She has now been married for 15 years and I know she made the right decision when she got married. 

I have always believed in freedom of choice and allowing your children to make their own decisions and find the man they love. Forcing them into a marriage for money or other selfish reasons will only end up in a disaster. If the parents are unhappy in their marriage why force their children to get married and make the same mistake. Let them decide on their own when the time is right for them and they are ready to get married.
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answered by LEGEND (6,007 points) 5 9 19
Some parents that failed in their marriage want their children to get married because they want a better life for them. They feel that through their children, they can finally achieve the bliss they never had. Children from such homes are often affected by the circumstances. Hence the parent feel that marriage is a way to heal them. 

Some parents want their children to get married because it is the norm of their society. Some societies do not condone staying single. It is frowned at and seen as leading a reckless life. The pressure to be married could have been the reason for a failed marriage. The couples may not have done it for love or compatibility but rather for social acceptance. Such parents blindly send their children straight into the same trap. 

Other parents with failed marriages have misplaced priorities. They put money and superficial things first. They send their children straight into marriage for the same selfish benefits after coming across a buoyant suitable partner. 
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answered by ELITE (4,052 points) 5 13 41
I think parents always want their children to be happy and settled, to find someone that will enrich their lives and support them through the good times and the bad. As a parent that's all I ever wanted for my children, to live happy and fulfilled lives and to share it with the partner of their dreams.

My daughter is engaged to be married and is very happy with her partner which in turn makes me happy. My marriage did not work out but my ex husband and I get on very well so she has never seen any animosity between us and it has not put her off marriage. 

I would hate to think of either of my children spending a lonely life without someone to share it with so I guess that's the reason I would like them to be settled with a partner of their choice. That's not to say that it's not possible to live a good life alone, some people do, but I think in the later years it's nice to have someone around for companionship.
replied by (451 points) 1 7
Even though some marriages aren't bed of roses, parents will always want the best for their children no matter what. Nobody wants to be in a messed up relationship but most times, we don't plan for things to happen the way they do. 
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answered by LEGEND (6,078 points) 2 10 28
I think maybe because parents are still hopeful that what ever bad happened to their marriage, it will never happen to their children. We all have relationship but it differs on one another. Having a strong relationship depends on how you believe it works, making it works and adjusting to some changes. If a person is open to everything that is happening around them, they will not believe that it bad things will about to happen. Normally, bad things happen even to good people so it depends on our attitude and acceptance. It will make us strong to hold in a relationship. Bad marriage happen but it will even gone bad if you will just stick to it or decide to stay away. It really comes out with a decision and it always affects the children that is why some are choose to be in it, that being separated. If your parent's relationship is not good, I think children will be motivated not to make that to happen to their relationship. That is the right thinking.
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answered by Patron (2,100 points) 3 6 15
Marriage was never meant to fail at any point. Your marriage may have failed because of many things, it could be fidelity issues, finances, poverty or your own doing you name it. But that doesn't mean that your kids marriages will also fail? Marriage as they say is a beautiful thing, you have to work towards it to make it work. You cannot afford to sit back, relax and expect things to work out. You have to constantly keep reminding yourself why you two got together in marriage. I mean when kids are born, its their parents wish or desire to see them walk down that aisle. There is nothing in this world that will make a parent more happy and so full of joy. Am sure at that point all the parents are seeing is holding their grandchildren in their arms and rocking them to sleep. Do they start thinking of whether their kids will break up and get out of marriage? No i don't think so. If anything they will start praying for them so hard so that they have a beautiful marriage that's full of joy and peace. Those are the times you will see parents smiling so hard with their faces all lite, there is usually no sign of sadness or conflict between them. Even if they were seperated no one would know for sure unless they are told. 
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answered by VISIONARY (9,003 points) 6 10 19
First and foremost getting married is the right thing to do irrespective of the fact whether we want to get married or not. Not wanting to get married  doesn't mean that marriage isn't important and the fact that one failed at an important thing such as marriage shouldn't hinder one from telling the next person to try it out.

It just like a parent that weren't good educationally telling their kids to get educated.What this simply means is that we know we were failures but you can still be educated and do your best with it.What we should always know is that not all marriages fails and we should always strive to get ourselves in that good percentage.

Nothing is  wrong with telling a child to get married even if one's marriage didn't work out.
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answered by LEGEND (6,077 points) 6 9 22
edited by
It is the heartfelt prayers of parents for their children to exceed their expectations. This is applicable to every area of human life and marriage is not left out. Because you had dysfunctional marriage does not mean you shouldn't be expectant of your children to have one united healthy family.

No doubt it is the desire of every parents to see their children give birth to their grandchildren in trouble free marriages. It will be considered not only as an act of insensitivity but wickedness for any reasonable parents to wish their children otherwise. It is their sole responsibility to ensure what they experienced in their own lives is not repeated in their children's lives.

For the world to move from this present chaotic state to a more sanctified one our parents must be proactive in making sure we don't suffer the same faith like they once did in their marriages whether they are in functional marriages or disjointed ones.
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answered by ELITE (3,032 points) 5 21 40
It's because they want their children to have and to experience what they didn't get to experience in their life. Even though their marriage fail, it doesn't mean that their children's marriage will bear the same outcome. Like any parents, they just want them to experience the best things that this life has to offer. They do not want them to have to endure the same things they had for the very reason of having a failed marriage. In other words, they still have faith that a married life will bring about good things for their children.

However, a parent should not force their children to get married if they do not want to. This aspect is for them to decide because this concerns their life. What parents should to is to support their children no matter what kind of life they choose--be it a married or a non-married life.

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