asked in Love+Relationships by (21 points) 4
replied by ELITE (3,548 points) 3 7 11
Yes, it's totally understandable that life is a matter of choice but on the issue of having a child or not, what I would ask is whether you would have been born if your own parents didn't want to have any children? So, in my opinion children are very important. 
replied by ELITE (3,642 points) 6 8 14
If you want to build a family,yes kids is important to call you a family.

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8 Answers

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answered by (319 points) 1 5
There are two sides to a coin. Having kids or not having kids is typically one's personal choice, which no one has a right to comment about. It is their life's choice. Due to societal pressures and people questioning married couple's about why they din't start a family yet, many people tend to have kids, even when they know that mentally they are not ready for kids.

Having kids is absolutely an amazing gift for women. I have a 3 year old son and I do want to have more kids, provided our financial condition improves. But that is my opinion. There are people I know who are married for 10 years now, and they are 100% sure that they don't want kids. That is perfectly fine. If you feel like you can't be a parent, that is ok. That is who you are and feel proud about it. Just because God gave us the power to reproduce, doesn't mean we have to start a family.
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answered by LEGEND (6,391 points) 5 10 21
Deciding whether you should have kids or not depends on several factors. First, it depends with where you come from. Your parents will always want to have grand kids so that the family lineage will continue growing. Secondly, it depends with your spouse. The main reason as to why we get married is procreation and kids are such a blessing to any family. Thirdly, kids make a family happy and all the noises make the home lively. Most marriages break up because of lack of kids.

I think its really good to have kids  no matter what because family must always be there to keep you company. If you really want happiness, then you must have kids. Maybe then you should consider being a nun. That's the only way out because you cannot say you want to have a partner but no kids.
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answered by LEGEND (6,076 points) 6 9 22
This issue has really been hitting up the front burner of discussions on whether to have kids or not in relationships/marriages. I will like to address this issue from a liberal point point of view. The trust is having kids in marriages it's a matter of choice. There are those that feel they don't want to while there are others that would love to.

For those that don't want to have have their reasons perhaps as a result of medical ground. Maybe be they can't conceive or they have complications that can't allow them to. Apart from medical reasons, there are those that don't just want to make commitment to having kids maybe due to the hassle that goes with child bearing or kids raising.

Meanwhile we have those that would love to have kids. They have prayed that God should bless them with fruit of the womb, and once their prayer is answered their joy would know no bound.
In conclusion, like I have said it's a matter of choice and if anybody don't want to have kids in their marriages, I think their decisions should be respected especially if it's a concensus agreement between the couples.
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answered by LEGEND (6,006 points) 5 9 19
The decision to have kids is entirely up you. No one can tell you whether to have kids or not. That is a very important decision to take. It is okay if you don't want to have kids. Especially when you don't have the means and aren't fit for raising kids. People who are ready to have kids should.
Children are the key to population. They are a gift to mankind. They preserve our race and ensure continuity of mankind.They are the next generation from us. However, there are thousands of people who are ready to procreate and keep this trend going. It is still a choice for you .

if you need someone to succeed you and preserve your blood lineage, you need children for that but if you don't think much of it, live your life accordingly and don't feel less.
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answered by LEGEND (6,078 points) 2 10 28
If you have a husband or if you are the husband, or we call it, if you have a spouse, the normal way is to have a family. You can have a family when you have kids it is either by adoption or by natural way. If you don't want kids, you need to talk with your spouse if it is okay if you don't have. Some are not into kids because they have priorities. For them, they need a lot of money to start racing a kids. It is one of the biggest responsibilities of a parent because you are not just raising a kid, but you are raising a person and they should be a good person. May I know the reason you don't want a kid? I am also a person who loves to take care of kids but I cannot raise on my own. I think I don't the patience, but it is good to have one so that there is someone who will take care of you when you get old.
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answered by VISIONARY (9,003 points) 6 10 19
Please don't if you don't want to,the world is already populated and we need less people now and who ever want this should please go ahead.

My friend sometime ago brought up  this same topic and he insisted he didn't want a child and that the parent wouldn't hear of it,I told him to follow his heart.They're so many abandoned kids already that needs some parental love,why do we still need our own child when we can adopt these ones and love and care for them like our children.This shouldn't be a big deal  at all.

So please if you're not ready to have children, then don't  be cowered, manipulated or discouraged please don't but if you want to have kids around just adopt them and you will good that way.I'm planning of adopting one in future.
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answered by ELITE (3,032 points) 5 21 40
The decision on whether or not you should have kids all rest in your hands. If you do not want to, then don't. No one should feel obliged of having to do something against their will. However, this raises concern when you and your partner have different opinion on this. Hence, you might want to reconsider things or end up with a compromise.

On the other hand, this reminds me most of our discussion pertaining to overpopulation. Back then, there are only a few women who do not want to bear kids, as culture, religion, among others make them feel that they are obliged to. Nowadays, women aren't just housewives. And now that they are given better position on the society, they tend to realize that they are free to make the choice of having kids or not, and that they should not be dictated by such factors.

If you are not entirely sure of your decision, maybe you may consider delaying it, or still, may be not. Point is, no matter what, it is still your call to decide.
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answered by ELITE (4,052 points) 5 13 41
Most people do want children but it isn't mandatory, in fact it takes a strong character to speak out and admit you don't want them and it is entirely your decision. My daughter and her husband don't know if they want them yet and I am much happier with her being that way than like my son who had a child and then found that he and his partner couldn't look after her.

There are plenty of people who don't have children who have an amazing life, traveling and seeing the world. They have no ties and can do exactly as they like and I can see the attraction of being able to do that even though I know that if I hadn't had children I would have longed for them. Having said that parenthood isn't always easy so if you aren't sure then I would not rush into anything.

The only thing I would worry about is having no one to care for me at the end of life, no one to visit or worry about how I am. I wonder whether people who never had children find that part hard especially when a partner dies and the other one is left.

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