Even though your child is an adult, shouldn't they still inform you when they make major life decisions?

Question

Even though your child is an adult and no longer has to obey you as a parent, they should still honor and respect you.  AGREE?

They no longer need your permission or approval to make major life decisions, and they are not required or obligated or mandated or commanded to tell you when they have made a choice for their lives. 

But shouldn't they show some consideration for your feelings and your concerns.  After all, as a parent, you don't stop wanting the best for your child once they are adults.  Do you?

Example:  Two of our children decided to travel to another country.  They did not inform us (their parents) of the trips.  Suppose something terrible happened to either one of them on foreign soil?  We didn't even know they were out of the country.  By the grace of God, they both returned home safely.  But I did not appreciate that we were not told.  Of course we would have objected, because we were concerned for their safety, etc.  But they would have gone anyway.  THEY'RE ADULTS!!  But at least we would have known where they were! 

Do you know how painful it us for a child to disappear or to get hurt or whatever - at home or in a far away land - and the parent is left there with a huge question mark and a pain in their heart??

Example:  Another child decided to change the faith she was brought up in.  We only found out because we asked a casual question about what she was doing with her life.  Shouldn't she have told us, out of respect.  Of course we would have objected.  But she would have made the decision. anyway!  SHE'S AN ADULT!

What?  Do children think parents stop loving and caring just because their adults now?  Don't they know the parents care, if they fall down when they are 2 or 12 years old or when they're 20 or 30 or 40 years old??

The Bible has two commandments (Christian scriptures):

~ #1:  Honor thy father and they mother ...

~ #2:  Children, obey your parents ...

You're not a child any more in our home.  OK.  I get that!  You don't have to OBEY us because you don't live in our house and you're not under our rules.  (Don't get "technical".  I know some grown kids still live with their parents.  But you get my point.)

But my husband and I are still a father and a mother no matter where our child or children live!

Commandment #1 is still in effect!

Comments

Yes, children should let their parents know what their plan and where they headed to be for safety reason.

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Yes when we are adults we will go our own ways, do our own things, move to our own houses but that doesn't mean that our parents stopped being our parents. they are still very much part of our lives. We owe them our lives and respect so it is only prudent to let them know what we are up to. At the end of the day all we do is let them know but the decisions remain with us.

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It's good to involve and inform your parents when making some decison

Answer 1

So yes, I think it's important for adult children to inform their parents when they make major life decisions.  It's a sign of respect, consideration, and maturity.  It shows that they still value the parents and that they want to keep the communication lines open.  It also shows that they still care about the parents' feelings and concerns.

Answer 2

The command to "Obey your parents" comes from the first commandment, which says to "Humble your father." The second commandment says to " discharge from the effects of your father's love." So a child who leaves their father and mother is "discharged from the effects of their father's love."

Answer 3

Although you are an adult there are some crucial decision that you need to involve your parent for support,advice and guidance.

Answer 4

move to our own houses but that doesn't mean that our parents stopped being our parents. they are still very much part of our lives. We owe them our lives and respect so it is only prudent to let them know what we are up to. At the end of the day all we do is let them know but the decisions remain with us.

Answer 5

Yes I really think that children should let their parents know about their plans and decisions on what they are doing because their parents know better than the children do

Answer 6

The level of communication and involvement between adult children and their parents varies. While it's ideal to maintain open communication, adults have autonomy to make their own decisions and may choose not to inform their parents about every major life decision.

Answer 7

The expectation for adult children to inform their parents about major life decisions varies from person to person and culture to culture. In many cases, open communication between adult children and their parents is valued and can strengthen the parent-child relationship. However, the level of involvement or expectation may differ.

Some factors to consider:

1. **Independence:** As children become adults, there is often a shift towards greater independence. Some adults may choose to make decisions autonomously without feeling the need to inform their parents about every detail.

2. **Cultural and Family Values:** Cultural and family values play a significant role. In some cultures, close family ties and regular updates on life decisions are expected, while in others, independence and privacy are more emphasized.

3. **Personal Dynamics:** The dynamics of each family are unique. Some families maintain very close relationships and share decisions openly, while others may have a more hands-off approach.

4. **Respect and Consideration:** Even if not obligated, many adult children choose to inform their parents about major life decisions out of respect or to seek guidance. It often depends on the individual's relationship with their parents and the nature of the decision.

Ultimately, healthy communication and mutual respect are key. While it's common for adult children to share important aspects of their lives with their parents, the extent of that sharing varies based on individual preferences and family dynamics. Open conversations about expectations can help ensure that everyone is on the same page.