asked in Love+Relationships by (21 points) 4
replied by ELITE (3,083 points) 4 8 12
Yes, when we love it is expected that we got to get hurt. It's part of it, it is true too that the person we love the most is the one who will hurt us more.

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answered by (191 points) 4
I remember the time that I was in a situation that hurt me so much but I just could not find a way out. I knew no God at that time. I lost my mind, frankly. I knew myself as somehow being able to plan ahead of time. Things used to flow to mind easily, that if I do this or not, this will happen. But that time of my life, I was really clueless about the road I was in.
Then time came, that i went to God. I asked for forgiveness and asked if he could save me. I was suicidal that time. Few months later, I started to have hope. I was able to go away from that suffering. And later realized that you have to respect yourself first, before you can be able to live again. If you feel hurt, there is something wrong. We are human, God created us with emotions so that we may feel if we are in danger or not. If you feel hurt, this is not the right time for you. You will feel exhausted and just do whatever that is gives you instant gratifications, even though later you will feel hurt. Just give your self a time to listen to God, and a time for you to self heal. After that, if you are still willing to love and trust again, go for it. Anyways, with love, you will still feel hurt. It is just normal, but not to the point that it is all hurt and less love.
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answered by (109 points) 7
Love hurts because of our expectations. True love should be unconditional. Rejection or betrayal in love hurts a lot and you almost lost faith in love. But remember that love is not just an emotion. Love is our very existence. Can you imagine a life without love? Don't invest your emotions so much that you get scarred for life. But at the same time, do not hold yourself back from loving. I believe in the law of attraction. Whatever you give to the universe, returns manyfold. If you give love, love will flow back in your life in some form or the other. Don't get stuck with a person. Let him/her go. Go with the flow. The one who is destined for you will come in your life sooner or later. Be loving and in gratitude for all that you are blessed with.
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answered by LEGEND (8,465 points) 4 8 19
Why would anyone subject his or her self to such abuse. How can love and hurt be in the same sentence let alone allowed to happen in real life. How do one love when the person you love is hurting you.

Well,I have always believed in the biblical definition of love and that's has always been my standard for love.The Bible records that love never hurt,love looks out for the good of one another and to a very large extent anything that doesn't resembles and dwell on this  can never be love.

I think the problem most people have is getting into all sorts of hook ups and terms it relationship and love.I think the bible standard for love is what should be followed and we will really know when we are deluding our selves and get out fast from any self killing relationship.
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answered by ELITE (3,031 points) 5 20 40

YES. If I got your question right, then I think you are referring to the kind of hurt you experience when the love you are giving was not reciprocated by the person to whom you gave it to. I do think that love is a risk, and that no one has ever loved and has never been hurt in the course of it. No relationship is perfect, and no two people are 100% compatible. Hence, there will come a time when you will be hurt by the arguments, the decisions, and the demands and expectations brought about by being in a relationship. I think it is high time we stop feeding ourselves with the ideal kind of love and start looking at real life scenarios. There will always be heartbreaks. There will always be compromises. But what matters most is how you use these things as basis of your growth.

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answered by LEGEND (5,619 points) 4 8 19
Love is something pure, beautiful and natural. Love shouldn't be the reason why you are constantly hurting. That isn't love. That is unhealthy and damaging to you. Love is unconditional and it brings out the best in you. You are slowing sucking yourself deep into a hole whene you hold on to such love.
Everyone needs to be loved right and when you always hurt instead of getting back the love you deserve, it is time to pack up and leave. That is not the way the universe works. Leave so that you can still be able to love someone again before you hurt yourself way beyond.
Learn to love and respect yourself first. When you equip yourself like that, the right people for you will definitely find their way like a magnetic attraction to you.
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answered by (295 points) 5 16
Love shouldn't hurt. If you're hurting right now, that's not love anymore. You are hurting because you are expecting too much from the other person. And if you truly love, if what you feel is really love, there shouldn't be any expectations set from the other person. Because love should be unconditional. I am not a religious person but i think i now get why they say "God is love" or "those who have known God, knows how to love". According to the bible, God loves us unconditionally, and even if we didn't reciprocate His feelings, He still gave His only son to pay for our sins.
I know it's a little too much to quote scripture but if you think about it, it does make sense.

There was one time my roommate and I were talking about boys and then she told me about her one great love. It made me realize what true love is.
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answered by LEGEND (6,072 points) 5 9 22
Against all odds you just have to keep loving whether in good times or in bad times. Love shouldn't be something you place a condition on because if you do so it means it was never a genuine love. There's ambivalent side to love whereby sometimes you feel hurt by it while other times you're joyous about it.

More importantly, love has been wrongly be interpreted especially in this present age we are in. Look around you, you would see many people selling out due to false claim to materialism and lust, all in the name of love. Their primary motives of going into relationship from the onset has already be predefined. That's why they keep getting the unexpected from it. But once you're not the fair weather love seeker, you would be more passionate and enthusiastic about it regardless whether you are hurt or not.

As for your case, try to look for those things that are hurting in your own kind of love and see if they're as a result of fake love. If you figure out they are not stick to the relationship but if they are, work out of it because sooner or later it going to wear you out to the point you would be left hot and dry.
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answered by LEGEND (6,391 points) 5 9 21
Yes, you need to continue trusting hoping that he'll change one day. Quitting can never be an option unless you've really endured the person for long and he's reluctant and he's threatening your life.  Not all relationships will be perfect all along although they might have started well.  Or maybe the person is suffering from some stress which makes him hurting as means of reducing the stress. I have seen ladies endure such a circumstance but in the run get what they've always yearned for.

On the contrary, if you've waited for long for the person to change and you're not seeing  any future with him, then the only way out is to quit such a relationship because you'll be losing your own time. But before quitting, make him aware that you're quitting.
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answered by ELITE (4,054 points) 5 12 40
Yes of course because even though you are hurting now, perhaps because someone has betrayed your trust, not every relationship is the same. After my first love went off with another woman I thought I would never be happy again but many years on he is forgotten and I am with someone I trust implicitly.

Once you have recovered from the pain you will be able to move on and meet someone who will treat you as you deserve to be treated. You might find it hard to love again at first but if this person is right for you he will be able to reassure you that he will not hurt you in the same way. However, if you are still in a relationship with someone who continues to hurt you perhaps you should think about whether this person is right for you,

Emotional pain is something most of experience in our lifetime, it's devastating and it takes some time to recover but don't give up because not everyone is the same and eventually you will meet the person who is right for you,
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answered by LEGEND (6,077 points) 2 10 28
Part of loving is hurting. If you will not hurt, you will not appreciate true love. If true love doesn't come in your life, then you will not be really happy, you cannot compare the love you will have again and you will not have a long relationship because you keep on jumping and jumping on a new relationship until you thought, you found one. For me, yes, you need to continue loving even it is the reason of hurting because it makes you a better person. Mistakes, problems and challenges in a relationship makes you a better person, suited to the right person you are having in the future. Hurting means you need to change your ways, you need to adjust your decisions and attitudes and you need to accept that there is no perfect love in the world. Those love that are more challenged and painful are mostly true love.

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